My husband and I have been together for 12 years, married for 8 this upcoming August. On June 9th I confronted him after he posted some (24) poems he had written on social media and it was clear that they were about someone and it was not me. Before I confronted him I checked other social media outlets he was a part of and realized I had been blocked, yet I had no clue why. My best friend was able to access his page and saw that he has been talking to a few women. After I confronted him all he would say is for me to get my stuff and leave, he refused to speak with me or see me, this is after being together for 12 years, needless to say, I was really hurt. I had no choice other than to pack my stuff up and leave the house. I took our 3 pets with us. Monday the 12th I texted him because he would not answer my calls, asking him for answers, he eventually told me that he does not love me anymore and has not for a while but did not leave because he is a coward and did not want to be away from our pets as well. He has cheated in the past (2015) we went to marriage counseling and seemed to move past it. He was and still is my soulmate. I imagined growing old with him. I just can't wrap my head around someone falling out of love with someone. I asked him if there was a chance we could reconcile and he said no, that I needed to just move in. I have been lost since then, I can eat or sleep. About a month ago we had moved back to our home city so that I could pursue my nursing degree while he supported us. I have always been the one working consistently for our entire marriage so this scared me but he assured me he would step up and support us until I had finished school. Right now I am staying at my mom's and trying to get a job, car and slowly peace my life back together, I know it has only been 9 days but I just feel so lost, alone and confused. He was my world, I don't have many friends and without a car or money, I can't really leave the house. Sorry, this is so long I just needed to get it all out. I just don't know how to forget him.

I'm so sorry to hear what's been happening to you. I can relate. It is hard to try to understand how someone can hurt you and not have a problem doing it. I wish I had the right words to say but all I can tell you for sure is that you're not alone. Many women, including myself, have gone through the same or something similar. I'm trying to heal from a divorce, just finalized a few weeks ago (after 18 years of marriage). He's already buying a house with the woman he cheated on me with.

I'm having to rely on God and His promise that justice is His. God also tells us He will restore what the locusts have eaten...meaning He will replace what we've lost with something so much better, if we trust in Him. So, that's what I'm trying to do. Day by day, hour by hour. You say you don't have a lot of friends to talk to about this...Have you thought about finding a church that offers divorce counseling? That would be a great way to meet other women that are going through the same thing. I hope you find the healing you're looking for.

I have thought about looking for some sort of counseling to help me get over this. It's just so hard without a car or job at the moment. I'm taking it one day at a time.

Devastated,
I too know how you feel. I did not experience any infidelity, but I know how difficult it is to turn your mind off from thoughts of what the future could have held & thinking about THEM. It's SO hard to take care of our needs, like eating & sleeping, when one is feeling this way. I'm glad you are with family. One thing that is beginning to help me is thinking about what my goals are. Not what my goals are 'without him,' (too painful just yet,) but where would I like to be in a day, two days. & started doing a little bit each day to try to meet those goals. Even if it means just waking up & taking a deep breath. We're here for you!

Thank you. That is what I am doing as well, taking it day by day and setting small goals for myself. It may sound absurd but my accomplishing a goal as small as eating is big for me right now. I think once I find a job it will get better, I will be distracted and have more of a sense of worth.

I know it’s hard .. try to stay busy .. go for a walk .. chat w us .. write on a journal ...I was a single mom with two kids . Riding the city bus to college and work .. yes as soon as you develop your new identity things will get easier .. time .. time is your best friend .. so sad he hurt you this way .. I hope you get past this and find joy and true love

Work is a fantastic distraction. I'm a teacher & my last day is tomorrow & I can tell you how devastated I am because I will miss that routine. It DOES make you feel better about yourself. I completely understand what you're saying about eating--it doesn't sound absurd at all because that is the biggest thing my mother keeps telling me to do. I'm down 20 lbs from last summer & I'm down 8 lbs in the last 6 weeks. I don't weigh a lot to begin with! You just don't feel like eating though, ya know? It's tough--even my clothes aren't fitting anymore.

You’re post about cheating, sudden divorce and news your husband hasn’t loved you for a while.... it’s dead on my situation. It’s been a little longer, but some days I’m in agony and others I’m taking steps. I wish I had more positive thoughts but you are not alone and if I can make it here so can you. Keep your thoughts on you’re self care