Looking for some emotional support and kind words....
My husband and I were together for four years. We married last July and conceived a baby boy immediately after our wedding; exactly as we hoped and planned.
My husband wasn't a self starter. In the first year of our relationship he lost two jobs. My father was often between jobs when I was a child, so although I loved my partner, I pushed him to be a better worker and to put his finances in order so I could give our child a better life than I did. We eventually bought a beautiful home together and renovated it to make it our own.
A tradesman, my husband always talked about starting his own business but I was weary due in part to his personality. I always thought he'd make a better employee. A few weeks before our baby's due date in May he brought up starting a business and I asked him not to due to our changing family dynamic.
After that he became cold and distant. He barely spoke to me through a long and difficult labour and delivery. Previously he'd been the type of guy to abandon his phone at home and let me look at it or use it if need be - suddenly he was attached to and very protective of it. His phone was now one of the few things that could make him smile. I never found out what it was that made him suddenly enamoured with it. I asked him if anything was wrong a number of times and he replied everything was fine.
A few weeks ago I finally found the courage to really confront him about his behaviour and he told me he felt like I didn't believe in him. I told him I was sorry for making him feel that way and that I wanted to work on our relationship. He told me it was too late - he was no longer in love with me. I literally begged him on my knees to reconsider but he confirmed it was over.
Nearly 3 weeks later my heart is still broken. My 9 week old son and I have been living with my parents. My husband visits the baby a few times a week. I can't believe I'm getting a divorce at 31. Our relationship was never perfect but I honestly loved him. When I said my wedding vows I meant forever. My only consolation is I'm independently successful with a good job. Although my finances won't be as great as they were when we were together I'll always be able to provide for my son.
Would love to hear from anyone who has been through something similar and got through ok. I'm currently on maternity leave from work (I live in Canada and we're lucky enough to get a year off) and although I'm happy to not have the pressure of my job, I'm very lonely and feel trapped in the house with my son. Mommy and me type groups will upset me since most of the moms will be in happy relationships. My son is breastfed so I can't leave him for long periods which is driving me nuts since I know my husband is free to go out drinking with his buddies. Any suggestions to keep me from going crazy are appreciated.
I'm so sorry my dear, I really wish I had magical words that could comfort you but I don't. Just try to be strong dear, be strong for yourself and your baby. Here is my number if you need any one to talk to (+19105023944), text me.
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through such a rough spot in your life when it should be so wonderful with the birth of your child. Trying looking into LeLeche groups to get support and advice for the breastfeeding. I nursed both my girls till they were almost three years old. It is such a great thing to do for the babies. Call your local library and see if they have any groups that meet that are in your same situation. Meeting with people who are going through (or have gone through) what you are going through will be so helpful to you. Stay strong for you and that will help you to stay strong for your son. Believe in yourself. Many hugs are being sent your way. You can do it!
I heart goes out to you. As time goes by you will find happiness. We all think we won’t make it and that the father of our kids is the only one but life has so much ahead. I know you can’t see it but it does. I divorced at 28 years old and have raised a successful young man and I’m very proud of him. Unfortunately, your husband sounds very mean and selfish but try to empower yourself... how ever possible .. prayer hotlines have helped get by hard times