My husband walked out on my Mother's Day weekend (what I man I have). He did not say anything and will not speak to me at all. We have a 21 year old and a 15 year old. The 15 year old is in North Carolina living with my youngest sister. My daughter is so unhappy down there. My 21 year old up here is not being contacted by her father. The 21 year old is so upset and is starting to blame me for it. My 15 year old is not happy because she wants to be with me and her sister. She does not want contact with her father whatsoever.
I want my husband back. He did tell me the last time he texted me that he is in a relationship and he wants to work on it. That hurts me so much because we are still married and I want to work on our relationship.
Re: What to do....how to deal when husband walks out
Judy.....LET HIM GO!!!! He obviously has NO respect for you, your marriage or your children. I know because I've been right where you are. I wanted him back to bad that I almost destroyed my relationship with our daughter. He accused me of cheating on him and in the end it was him that was cheating. Hell he had his "friend" move in shortly after I left, lucky to have left with my life no less. I spent the first 6 months crying my eyes out, isolating myself from everyone, begging him to "work things out". You know where it got me? NO WHERE!!! I finally figured out that he was not worth anymore of my time or energy. He had been cheating on me for 2 years with this "woman" and I use that term loosely because any woman worth her salt wouldn't take up with a married man, especially one that his wife and child was still living with. Judy he is not worth it. Your 21 year old will eventually see things for what they are, just give her time and space. Go get your 15 year and bring her home. Get yourself together sister.....give all your time and energy to yourself and your kids. Screw him.....he's not worth it. He really isn't. I mean he left you on Mother's Day....what a jerk. He doesn't deserve you or your children in his life. I'm not saying that it will be easy, because it won't. But take it one day at a time and if that is to much right now then take it one minute at a time. Pray and pray and pray. Talk and talk and talk about your feelings, just not with your kids. Find a good therapist for both you and the kids. Listen to the kids and be there for them, and love the hell out of them. It will get better I promise. Hang in there. And keep remembering that HE ISN'T WORTH IT!!!!
Re: What to do....how to deal when husband walks out
Judy, one more piece of advice....just take your time. Don't let anyone tell you to "get over it" and "just move on". Honey this is going to be painful and hurtful, but it will last only as long as you let it. And trust me one night you are going to cry yourself to sleep and then the next morning you're going to wake up feeling different about the whole situation. And when that day comes you'll know that you are finally on the way to a different life. I life that YOU choose it to be. And remember that your kids will be as ok as you are. Keep that in mind ok. God Bless you honey, hang in there and just know that it and you will eventually be ok.
Re: What to do....how to deal when husband walks out
Judy,
Wanting him back, for me, is the first and longest stage of the grieving process. It doesn't matter that they're **** and not worthy of our love, letting go of the relationship you thought you had is the hardest part.
I have an actual list of his not so great qualities that I look at almost daily, if for nothing else than to remind me of what I'm actually pining for. It has yet to move my heart into acceptance, but it has helped my head tons. Sooner or later I reckon, my head will convince my heart.
The two things helping me most right now is allowing my head to steer my mental bus, and working slowly at removing evidence of him from my daily life. The feeling I got the other day by moving some of his crap from a corner and filling it with ME, was amazingly cathartic.
I'm not strong yet by any measure, but I am starting to recognize how often my thoughts struggle with accepting everything as 'real'. But I cut myself slack because we were married 34 years and I haven't yet learned how to adult without him.
Take it day by day--trust that as bad as it is now, it won't always be that way.