I'm 58 and have been married for 34 years, considered divorce for a long time. I would like to connect with others who can tell me how their lives have changed for the better. I'm afraid of how things will be at first - holidays, birthdays etc. I think knowing what's ahead of me will help me to finally end my marriage
Hi shellen
I’m 62 been married 39 years not done with the divorce yet (work in process) but I’m a little scared myself but I Can’t Wait for it to be Over and Done. I have a wonderful family who support me I hope you have that too it helps a lot. I just want to go somewhere safe and live without the feelings I have now. I think you feel the same way. If you feel the need to get a divorce that it will make life better for you I say do it. You don’t have to live a ****ty life. We women can do this we are strong it’s gonna feel weird but I believe it will be much much better.
Know your not alone there are others out there who are going thru these difficult times
Best of luck to you
Thank you for your advice. My H is verbally and emotional abusive. When I finally had enough courage to stand up to him and stand my ground he started with the passive aggressive ways. I have a world of support from my four friends but not sure how my and his family will be. I'm on two antidepressants because of him and I don't want to be on it the rest of my life. We live like roommates. I don't love him anymore, I don't even like him. I need to be strong and know my life will be happier without him. My adult children have told me to do whatever makes me happy. They know how their dad is. I have every reason in the world to leave him. I just need to courage to do it!
I am 55, been divorced since 2009. At first it felt like my ex was just off working, then it felt like he was gone. He had a lot of stuff. It was good to get his stuff out. I had the tv or music on for "company". My cat died a couple of years later which was really tough since she was all I had from my old life. A few months later I got another cat. Pets are good company if you can take one on. Another man met me, I say it that way because I wasn't looking for one. It's not perfect but we share a lot in common for our pasts. I was married for 21 years. My ex was diagnosed as having Asperger's Autism by his sister, a Doctor, after he left. He has a long term girlfriend which he got before the divorce was final. The biggest change was finances - having to live on one income instead of two and I am not a big spender. I had to go to the Food Pantry at first - was only working part time. I got my clothes at a thrift shop, long story but best wishes to you.
I'm 58, married 32 years, am only a month into physical separation, but 2 years into the process of splitting.
I won't lie, it's hell on earth. But when I compare what I'm feeling now to how I felt before he left, it's infinitely better. The reason for this is I'm slowly figuring out there's a mountain of difference between pain that is inflicted upon you, and pain on the healing end of the spectrum. I LOVE knowing that what I'm experiencing now is finite and will eventually pass.
Yes, I still worry all the time about practically everything, but gaining control of how long, or short the process will be is soul satisfying beyond measure. And in the meantime, filling all the empty spaces with ME, in some ways, is even better.
I've haven't yet experienced the big firsts, but I survived two years of firsts during our split limbo. Somehow,I know the birthdays, holidays and significant dates will be easier alone without him than they were alone with him.
Shellen, I have little to offer you in terms of the practical side of what this is like, but even with no job, income and being left holding the bag of full-time care giving on my own, I'd rather suffer a thousand days of this than endure one more minute with him.