Could really use some advice. I have been in a relationship with my guy for 2 years and in less than 3 weeks I am moving in with him. He has his kids every other week and when they are here and I happen to be here at the same time I sleep on the couch or on a pullout in his daughters room. When we first started dating I totally respected this and had no problem but with us deciding to start a life together and me moving in soon I am feeling a way about this!!! I brought it up to him and he says I am overreacting and that he is working on introducing us sleeping in the same bed. I treat his kids as if they were my own and we do things together as a family all the time..... so this aspect makes me feel like an outsider and am really not part of the family dynamic... not to mention hurts my feelings!!! This is my first time in a serious relationship with someone with kids.... am I overreacting???
No, you’re not. If you are moving in then this will be your home too. What sort of message does that send to the kids? That you’re not equal?
I’d be really peed off if that was suggested to me . I understand why you did it before but he should get them used to the idea before you have moved in. You want to feel like it’s your home too. With this arrangement, you’ll feel like a visitor. He needs to rethink it and you need to put your foot down and refuse to move in until he fixes it.
Just my two cents :-)
Good luck
My gut reaction is yes, you are overreacting. Instead of taking offense to his wanting to do the right thing by his children--perhaps you could suggest ways you could help him by sitting down and hashing out a plan together.
Of course it's natural for you to want to become an equal member of the household, but it's also very natural for him to want to ease into it for his kids sake. It's a process, not a sprint, the more supportive you are, the easier it will be (for everyone).