Ive been married for 11 months and I've practically been contemplating divorce for the last 6. My husband and I have had a alot of problems to deal with starting with my family. My dad had cancer and we had to take care of him. After he died my sister was diagnosed with cancer and she had to move in with her kids and husband which has created alot of problems for us. I understand its not easy but we made an agreement to help them until my sister and her husband got on their feet. My husband hasnt worked for almost 2 years granted he took care of my dad and sister but he has been able to work for the last 4 months and hasnt done ****. Stays at home all day and play on the computer. Maybe he will do one or two things around the house but he is very messy. I feel like I carry all the weight and its too much for me. I pay the bills I do the laundry..etc I have to push him to get things done. He says I should be happy with what I get and look at the positives but there are too many negatives here. To top it off we have sex like 2x a month if that and its more for his pleasure than mine. Im overwhelmed and sad. I left someone I loved deeply to be with him because I wanted a better future for myself and look where im at now. Its so depressing.

You've just learned the all important grass isn't greener lesson. I'm sorry you had to learn it the hard way, but at least now you know.

Sounds to me like you need to move on from your #2 guy, fix your picker, and learn how to make a better life on your own instead of relying on men to help you do it.

I don't mean to sound harsh because I know how horrendous it is to suddenly realize something like this, but it can be a serious life lesson going forward if you choose to learn from it.

I wish you luck.

I really have to think hard about what im going to do. I would have never thought that by 32 id be wanting to get divorced. The sad thing is my ex died 2 yrs ago so I could never regain that relationship.

Have you guys considered counseling? It's not an immediate fix, but it might help you work through some of your feelings, both individually & together. The first year of marriage is HARD. I guess in my case, the first wasn't so bad, but the second was extremely hard & sometimes life events can take a toll.

Yes that's the next step for us. I'm hoping it helps. I never thought marriage would be so difficult.

I had doubts even before I got married, four horrible years later, I've decided to call it quits. Don't wait that long to leave. Unless there's big changes from his side, it will only get worse.