New here and looking for advice. First I’ve been married for 11 years. My husband and I have an 11yr old daughter who is our world. I think that’s what makes this so hard. I wouldn’t say I’ve been happily married for 11years cause I haven’t. In fact the majority of it has been hell. He has a son from a previous marriage that has caused so many problems but EVERYTHING comes back on me. He stole my wedding rings and pawned then (we have video where he reached up where I put my rings, grabbed something and ran out the door and 2 hours later came back with 250.00. He was 14 then and no job and there’s no other explanation yet I LOST them (4 years later still haven’t been found) my husband and I have not slept in the same room for about 2 years now. I’ve been sleeping in the spare bedroom (which at one point I was booted to the couch because SS needed a place to sleep, so I had to give up my bed because “every child should have a place to lay their head” yes I agree with that but this KID was 18yrs old at the time) the latest thing was stepson lost his job therefore got his car repo”d. My father left me a truck when he passed away. Since SS had no car I had no choice but to offer it to him to drive. NOT ONCE did I get a thank you from neither my husband or his son and when he finally did get a car he seemed to think he could keep the truck as well (cause let’s say he didn’t use his money wisely) I did get my truck back but had to put up a fight for it.
On top of all this, my husband was addicted to prescription narcotics for years (which I blame myself for everyday cause I’m the one who told him to go see a doctor when he was in so much pain) he had a surgery and got a settlement for 12,000. He bought a brand new truck (even though I was against it but kept my mouth shut because I was always called selfish if I spoke up) he ended up going to rehab for the addiction and I learn that he had been spending upward to 500.00 a WEEK to purchase extra pills from people and had not only blew through every paycheck we had gotten BUT the 12,000 settlement he had gotten as well. I’m still hurt after that because if I spent 10.00 on myself I would get the 3rd degree.
I feel like we are just living as roommates. There are no kisses, he told me a long time ago that I “smothered” him when I asked for hugs. There’s no “good nights” no “good mornings” when I want to go somewhere he declines to go. I hear these women talk all the time about how their husband is the best thing thats ever happened to them and I can’t say that. I will always love him because he is the father of our daughter. Even though I have reason to, I don’t feel any ill will toward him and would never take anything from him, I just want to be happy for once and feel what it’s like to be loved, what marriage is supposed to be like. (I realize that everyday isn’t going to be rainbows but I don’t think it’s supposed to be this way either) I make a good living so could take care of myself, heck I don’t even want child support if I can get around that cause he IS a good father to our daughter. Yes it’s sad when even your child says that we are much better people apart from each other but how do you start the process of leaving?! I know he will try to make me out to be a villain and I’m not. He can keep his house and everything in it, just give me things my parents had and a few other things and I’ll gladly leave everything else cause that’s stuff dosent matter to me. I want to actually live life for once and not come home to a environment that drags me down daily. I know in my heart what I SHOULD do for myself but no idea where to start. If I try to talk to him about anything, it gets turned around on me.
Thanks for listening

I'm in the position where I want to leave too, you know what I've realised?..There is no right time, you know you should leave, your happiness and your daughter's, depends on your strength right now, take that first step, go see a lawyer. It might be a long and difficult road ahead but it also doesn't seem as if your current life is any better. Make that change. No relationship should leave you feeling empty or unhappy. The longer you stay, the harder it becomes. Don't have regrets.

Kierstyn: It sounds like a complete mess. I would get a consultation with a Divorce Lawyer. Let him/her know what you have written here. Family Lawyers are best when kids are concerned. I, too, was in an o.k. position financially when I divorced (health insurance is always a concern/most of us watch the news, right?). My 18 yr. old and I learned not to count on ex for anything as he had issues - long story. I never got a hug the whole 21 yrs. (Asperger's Autism). Best wishes.