I have been with my husband nine years five married. I married him and chose him because he was so kind and wonderful to me. He always had my back and I trusted him completely. I knew we would grow old together and he would not never hurt me.
Yesterday morning out of the blue he states he wants a divorce. It did not matter what I wanted or thought. He said we were too different and we both were unhappy. I have been through thin and thin with him as he is an entreprenuer. I have seen more businesses fail and we have had some tough times. HOwever, we always made it work. We are in that same situation now and at our direst moments he asks for a divorce. I NEVER saw it coming. I am in shock and can not think straight and am terrified. I am 45 and thought we would always be married. I have ZERO idea how I will ever get through this. I have never been more shattered. How do you possibly cope and come out the other side?
Kathleen: Sorry about this. Get a consultation with a Divorce Lawyer ASAP. It may be there is another woman. It takes about 2 years to get through this, on average. Spend time with supportive people.
search "Divorce Care" in google to find one near you. It is free and held in churches. There is a book that is optional.
It does take 2-5 years to get on the other side of divorce.
Grieve your losses, they are real, so you don't get stuck.
Move one, start planning how to be one your own. Forgiveness is key to not become bitter. Otherwise it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Bitterness eats at you not him.
There is free legal help if your low income. There are also domestic abuse help if that is the case.
Put away money somewhere he doesn't know or start a new account in a different bank in your name only and start putting money in there for your exit plan.
Pack a bag and keep it in your trunk or at a friends house, hopefully someone he doesn't know, for emergency get away plan. Leave a set of keys there also, to house , car, deposit box , etc.
Take care you by planning now, for the physical needs. The emotional will take time.
It depends on who he is , controller, manipulating, emotional abusive, toxic, alcoholic, etc. as to what book to recommend or advice.