Hi, hoping someone has some advise. I have been telling my manipulative, controlling husband for months now that I can no longer take this and we have to divorce and he has been just intolerable, all he ever said was “so just move out “ but we have a 3 year old child and he’s all like “I’m gonna get full custody” and telling me how I’m going to ruin her life (as all controlling manipulative and emotionally abusive men would say) . We make equal salaries and he has always put me down, and I eventually got a lawyer and paid a $5000 retainer several weeks ago. The lawyer expects for my husband to either get a lawyer or represent himself, but of course my husband is refusing and says let’s just do it through mediation (but I know he would just screw me over) . My lawyer keeps telling me not to move out , even though the atmosphere is really awful, and suggests I have him served. My husband tells me, this time correctly, that such back and forth will cost a lot of money. So I am just stuck in a hamster wheel. Can someone tell me how much it costs to “serve” someone? And any advise also please! Thank you

I just went through this "serving" process. It's not terribly expensive and your lawyer should be able to do it. You have to go to the clerk of court and pay them a fee to file the "request for service" then there's a fee for the sheriff/marshal to actually do the serving. Call them and ask the fee prices. But if your lawyer filed the divorce papers already they also should be able to do the service request. As far as moving out, peace out, I wouldn't stay somewhere where my child could be subject to the verbal torment. I'm from Louisiana so we have community property laws when my ex left he took whatever he wanted and I was told there was nothing I could do. I'd take whatever I wanted and go. Good luck

At times marriage can be very difficult, however if you have not divorced yet think about it. .....maybe there is a reason for his behavior and that he feels like he’s losing control his family. This could be why he is lashing out so, but I don’t know. Think about the reasons why you fell in love to begin with, at first I would try marriage counseling and marriage conferences, always try to save the marriage and you will never regret it.

read up on narcissistic personality disorder. its not a disease. it sounds like what you are dealing with. do you rent? after you research the above you will see its best for you and the child to part. mediation will help but unless you have someone to keep him from badgering you it will be pointless. you have to wait a yr. in louisiana when child is involved. document what is going on. have to get lawyer. if you are buying your home it is community property, but a judge is not going to leave the children in the street.