Hello my name is Angela I have been married for 18 years 3 children. We have had a good run. we have good times and bad times. when I noticed things got really bad was when my mom passed away he lost his job two of our friends his really close friends took there own lives. he started drinking more taking adderall not eating staying up all night erratic behavior. He has been a bulimic since he was 18 now he is 42 and has coped with it his way, there is so much anger and lies that we can't stand to be around one another. he has always been the bread runner but has ran through over 100k in a year. I just want to be happy and calm in my own home with my kids. I want the house and alimony and for us to go our separate ways without hate or any ill will, but I feel it won't be that easy. any advice would help

If he is in agreement that a divorce is the best thing for both of you, I would then sit down with him. If you're both amicable in spite of everything, do it in a quiet restaurant where it can be just the two of you without the kids. Tell him your wants and that you want nothing more but the process to be easy on all parties involved, especially the kids. The more you settle out of court the better. However, if he disputes anything such as you keeping the house then you need to lawyer up and prepare for a contested divorce where you can still ask for the things you want but possibly will have to do compromise on other things. I hope things work out for you.