Womans Divorce Forum

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Anger at ex husband

I've been divorced now for close to 9 years and I still think about my ex with hatred all the time. I'm remarried to a wonderful man and we have a healthy strong relationship but I'm having such a hard time letting go of my anger at my ex. He mistreated me so much during our short marriage, cheated on me, and mentally abused me. I hate that I stayed so long and never stood up to him. When we got divorced, I only wanted one thing- my wedding ring which he had ripped off my finger when I found out he was cheating on me. He had purchased two four wheelers, two snowmobiles and a boat while we were together; I had run up tons of credit card debt on things that we both benefited from but I didn't want compensation for any of it. I simply wanted my wedding ring back and to move on. I got it back at our divorce proceedings, and found out a year later that he had paid someone to remove the diamond and replace it with a cubic zirconia. I was devastated but not surprised. I now wish I had gone after him for everything but I can't change the past. I hate him to the point where if I saw him on fire, I wouldn't spit on him to put him out. Does anyone have any advice on how to let go of this anger? I know the saying that hating someone is like letting them live rent-free in your head but I just can't seem to move past it

Re: Anger at ex husband

You sound more angry with yourself for your past decisions than at your ex, IMO. Forgive yourself first. Then work on moving on.

Am working on that myself.