I want to know if I can get custody of my children but not sure if I could because Allot has happened since I made a HUGE mistake by allowing my children to go with their father for the weekend and he did not return them to me; but instead went to file papers for Custody and a Restraining Order lying on me that my babies have always lived with him and I abandoned them and he feared that I was a threat to them because I used drugs; which was all a complete lie and I have proof that they've always been with me, I raised them on my own for 6 years. I never understood how a parent could actually put their child out of thought. Well one day while caring for my babies I received a phone call, it was my children's aunt asking if they would be able to attend a birthday party for her son I of course told her yes because they hadn't seen them for awhile and plus I thought nothing of it never would I have been able to predict the heart ache I would soon endure, so I agreed that they could go for the weekend but they had to be home Sunday evening at a decent hour she argreed and went on her way. Well Sunday evening as I was pacing back and forth waiting on my babies return I receive phone call right before my babies were supposed to be arriving, it's my children's father saying that he has decided that he wasn't going to bring them back to me. I completely lost it, I stupidly without thinking began making threats to him, which caused him to go file for a Emergency Restraining Order and file for Custody. A few days after he took my children I was still trying to put my started in my car and my phone rings, it's my children's father he offered to bring my and babies down to visit me because they missed me, so ofcourse I agreed to not make a scene and do anything stupid because never once did I ever want my children to have to go thru this, when my babies arrived I asked them if they were ok and what they wanted to do, they wanted to play hide and seek so we did. Then they wanted chips and soda so I took them to the store which is not far at all from the park. Well out of nowhere I hear my children's father cursing at my especially in front of our children isn't ok with me never has been. So I tried to talk calmly to him but he started making threats saying that I will never see my children again i mean "WOW", then gave the papers to his girlfriend to serve me and when she did my heart dropped because I had never been thru stuff like this before, I was terrified because I was unaware of everything that would happen. Just the thought of me losing my babies made me panic because THEY are my entire world. When we went to court my baby's father tried to tell the judge that I was violent and that he feared for his life around me, the judge ask him besides making threats had I ever shown signs of actually being violent physically "no" he replied. So the judge turned to me and asked what I wanted, I was shocked (he wasn't on my baby's father side) so as of November 26th, 2015 I was granted joint custody and he was granted physical custody because of my living situation. I wasn't stable at that very moment so I was ok with that because I was told it was reversable. Around March 2016 I was blessed with a stable place renting a place roomating with my fiance's niece, so after speaking to my children's father we made a verbal agreement that my babies would come back to live with me. Unfortunately, right before the holidays my fiance's niece and I got into an argument and she threw us out, afaid to loose my babies to my children's father or anyone for that matter, I was secretive of my situation to most people (that I was homeless with my babies) but the first thing I did was go down to the welfare office to see if they could help me with homeless assistance I was told I didn't qualify because I had been helped with homeless assistance in the past and that it was only a once in a lifetime assistance but that they were trying to get it changed because of so many being homeless now a days. A few days later the welfare worker calls me back and informed me of the changes to the program, but that wouldn't be in effect until 2017 but she made it her priority that we were her very first case to recieve assistance with the new rules for my "children sake" her words were, January 4th, 2017 was my appointment. Things seemed to be getting better when I find out from my fiance's brother that his niece called CPS and made a false report out of spite. How could someone be so cruel especially when it comes to someone's children just because you don't get along with them? A better question is how the government can authorize an agency to cause more harm then good to children and their families everyday allowing CPS to take someones children over heir say THATS WRONG. The day that CPS took my children they were in a day camp that they had begging to go to but at the time I had no money but I was informed of a scholarship that could be issued for the children of low-income circumstances which I applied for and it was approved. Well on their 2nd day we were running late getting them to daycamp but I called to make sure the daycamp knew we were on our way, they told me it was fine I asked my babies if they wanted something to eat so I can stop and buy them something because we were walking they said no that I could go to the store for their lunchables after I drop them off it didn't seem like an impossible thing to do so I agreed with them and we continued walking to you the daycamp after I drop them off I informed one of the staff members that we woke up late and I have called in and I was going to go get their lunchables from the store and bring right back because they hadn't eaten because we barely woke up and the kids were excited and in the rush to get there because of an activity they were having she said okay that was fine but the look she gave me for some reason I got an ugly feeling I thought nothing of it and went and got my babies their lunchable came back, give it to them. I went to putting job applications at a few places around the area meanwhile they were at daycamp. When I returned to pick up my children a staff member told me the CPS workers had went in there to talk to my children they wanted to talk to me they asked me to step aside and not wanting to make a big deal of it because I didn't want them to think I was doing anything wrong or that I had anything to hide because I didn't they ask me about my situation and I told them of my appointment that I had with the welfare for the very next day and I was currently located at a motel then an officer comes in and tells me that I have warrents that are a year and a half old ( of failure to appears from tickets of possession of a controlled substance which I got after my children's father took my babies from me) so he handcuffs me they don't let me tell my babies what's going on or anyting they just take me to jail and I can't even imagine how they felt how scared and confused they must have been plus they separated my son from my daughter's. No one can imagine the pain that a mother feels after she lets her babies down especially in that way I was so broken and still am broken but slowly just trying to make the best of it because I understand everything that happened was my fault because I should have had everything prepared for my babies anyways no matter if someone called on me or whatever happened I know that if I was doing what I was supposed to be as a mother to protect my babies then even if they would have came they would have never been able to take him for me A HORRIFYING NIGHTMARE the end; but as of May 29th of 2018 they closed the cps case because my babies were placed with there dad and he was given Physical sole custody of my babies. I was happy they weren't with strangers but still upset and devastated because I did everything that they had of asked me which was to take drug classes, counciling and parenting. I was told this when I went to my first court hearing they told me that I had to take a drug test after court ( I guess to try to prove the allegations to be true) I went down to take the drug test as requested. The results were all negative as I told them I was clean, so it should've been obvious that the accusations weren't true either, Right? Still the social worker seemed to be against me, but because she claimed to supposedly be trying to help reunite the families. I went to see her after my second court date after I tested clean for the second time. The social worker told me that she was going to be doing evaluation for the recommendation letter to the judge. After completing the evaluation she told me straight out that I had no chance of EVER having my babies return to me because my parental rights to my first Son were terminated which happen 10 years prior, so she felt that my babies would be at risk of the "same neglect" her words. After hearing that they decided that they were not going to give me any type of reunification services and that I still had to take the counseling, parenting, and drug classes just to keep my visits, it upset and hurt me all at the same time but I would rather it'd be this way right now compared to how bad it could be like a few friends of mine who can even see their children at all anymore. Around Late February 2017, I told the social worker that I felt I would not be able to do the required classes as a out-patient because after she told me that my I had No chances of my babies being returned after I had left the cps office I went to go comfort myself the only way I knew how (I went to go get high and numb the pain) but instead of numbing my pain I felt as if it was inflammed. So I called the social worker and ask what I should do because it was a very difficult for me to stay clean with because my babies were my only reason I stayed clean and I wanted to go to a in-patient rehab she said no that I should just give it a chance and do the out-patient classes and I told her that I would but I never planned on it because I felt as if I just couldnt afford to waiste ANY TIME AT ALL so after I got off the phone with her I called Cedar House Rehabilitation and took a phone interview to be put on they're waiting list for a bed. It was 2 weeks before I finally got a bed but when I did I completed with my certificates of 3month in-patient rehabilitation and while I was there I also completed my counciling and parenting. As soon as I left rehab I enrolled myself into a out-patient drug class at IVRS and started to look for employment after a week of searching I started working at Burlington Coat Factory Warehouse in Redlands as a temp worker. I completed the out-paitent drug clasdvand I've been off drugs ever since. I have completely turned my whole life around and I moved into a house that I alone rent and it's been 3 months since I moved in, I feel that it is much more spacious for my babies here then with their father because their father lives with his mother and it's not just him and my babies it's his sister, his sister's boyfriend, his sister's adult daughter, (which would be his niece) who also has a son and a daughter of her own, his mother, and she has two of her family friends staying with her as well, it's only a small cluttered 3bedroom house and a small cluttered yard with no room for them to run around without getting hurt. Basically my children's father and my three children share one small room. Plus sad to say but his mother is pack rats so everything is completely cluttered. Here at my house the girls will get their own room my son his, and one for myself, there's a HUGE yard for them to run around and play in. I feel that it was completely wrong an unfair CPS didn't give me the opportunity to reunify with my babies because I lost my parental rights for my first son what you going to understand was my fault but the only reason why I lost my parental rights for my first son was because I was scared to be sent back to the group home I ran away from and of what they would do to me if they took me back that was why I did not comply or cooperate with the social worker I mean it breaks my heart every day I regret not fighting harder for my son. My Son's father took him from me when he was 2 weeks old he lied and said that there wasn't room for me in the car and we needed to take him to Loma Linda Hospital for surgery (we lived in Blythe) and his sister would take me afterwards as soon as she got home but when I came down here I couldn't find him he ended up moving in with some girl and all along planned on how to steal my son from me knowing I was limited on what I was actually able to do considering I was a minor and a runaway from CPS in a group home. My mom was in prison and my father was never around, my younger siblings were all spread out in foster homes so I was alone in the world. I was left without a way to get to my baby and I was a first time mother emotionally damaged, easily influenced because of my vulnerability I was approached by some men who convinced me that they would help me little by little they introduced me to drugs and made me feel as if I had to sleep with them because I had nowhere to go and I knew no one. My son's father was the one who left my son at the hospital he claimed to have been guilted into it by a nurse there at the hospital but he make sure that that there was no way for them to locate or get in contact with him and I was on drugs and terrified to go back to the group home so I didn't fight for him as hard as I should have. My siblings and I were taken from my mother and separated in system I never wanted that for any of my babies or ever to have to go through that and I did everything in my power 2 be sure that it didn't happen but sometimes in life things don't always go as planned.