My ex and I have been legally divorced for a year. We were together for almost 19. The last 10 yrs of our marriage he was gone a lot working or racing (he drives a race car, well used to) We have 4 kids and he only went to parents night of their sporting events and usually left at halftime right after they announced our names. He said he had to get work done for the business, or had to work in the shop on the race car, or it just “wasn’t his thing” sitting at all the games or competitions. He now has a girlfriend that he moved in with after 6 months. They have been together a year. When they started dating he suddenly stopped working all the time, quit racing (which he has done his entire life), dresses completely differently as she now buys his clothes, and what makes me furious is he spends time attending her sons basketball or football games. He even attends her niece and nephews games. I get so mad inside every time I hear that he is doing things with her kids because he didn’t do it with his own. He still doesn’t reach out much to his own kids but is 100% involved in his girlfriends. It just makes my blood boil and I want him to explain to me why he has completely changed who he is, and why he doesn’t put any effort into his own children. When will i stop being so angry about this. I know in my mind that there is nothing I can do and that I will never get an answer from him. But how do I make those angry feelings go away? His girlfriend is actually. Nice and I talk to her more than I talk to him. But I just want to yell and tell her that nothing he is doing right now is actually his normal personality or behavior. That he hates attending kids games, and wouldn’t have ever worn the kind of clothes he currently is wearing, etc, etc. Maybe this is the “new him” and it will stick. I just need help moving past this. I go over and over it in my head on a daily basis and it affects every part of my life.

I hear you on this one with the sports events - been divorced 10 yrs. - have a boyfriend. His ex gf wants him to attend her son's games (his dad sometimes doesn't, but other fam. members do). When he was younger we did a little more often, but my guy wanted a new man to take over this role which did happen for a while, but there is no current guy. Games are late and he's finished with school next year. Hang in there. Your kids will see their dad for who he is. My dad left us and focused on his women. He later had to sneak off to see me (controlling wife). My friend told her "babydaddy" you are either in our lives or your not and someone else is adopting her child. Take care.

The regret of missing his children's lives will catch up to him someday. I am an alienated father with a bogus restraining order BUT I have been to hundreds of my boys' events since I was forced to leave my home based on lies / perjury of exW.

The reality of what he missed will smack him in the face when the "shine" wears off on new relationship. I don't care how self-centered a person is, that bond with children is always there. He is blind and self-absorbed for NOW. That is not sustainable.

He will discover the giant hole in himself. By then, you will be in a better place and will ALWAYS know you were committed to your kids. You will never regret that!