Hello! I have been married for 18 years. We have had our ups and downs like any marriage. We both let ourselves go after we had kids. I decided to change. In the past 10 months, I have lost 55 pounds and still am working on losing more. My husband has no interest in losing weight. He works full time and I work 40-60 hours a week. We have gotten ourselves into debt but we are on track to pay it all off soon. I am not attracted to him at all. We have not had sex in over a year. I work many more hours a week than him. Yet I am the one that does everything in the house. I will ask him to help more and he does for a couple of weeks. Then he goes back to not helping. I felt really fat and ugly since I had my daughter 14 years ago. Now people tell me that I look so beautiful and I feel so much better about myself. My husband and I are both 42 and we have a 14 year old and a 12 year old. Our 14 year old has anxiety issues and she's just started on meds which are helping tremendously. I went in on a session with her and her therapist and she mentioned that she felt like her dad and I were not doing well and she was worried that there was going to be a divorce. I lied and said that we were fine. I have read about a "parenting marriage" and thought that might be a good idea because we work opposite shifts during the week. But on the weekends, I can't stand being around him. Everything that he does bothers me. He doesn't help me and I feel like he's just taking up space in my house. I don't know if it is the weight loss and feeling better about myself or its my sexual peak but I want to have sex all the time...but certainly not with him. I have not cheated and don't plan to but I definitely want out. And I'm so attracted to younger guys. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to handle this. I know I have to tell him and I do have a lot of guilt about the failure of our marriage. But I am completely unhappy. Thanks in advance for words of wisdom!
I've been in a similar situation and now years later after my divorce I sometimes find myself questioning what I did. Then I find myself realizing I miss the material things I had and not the man I left. When a marriage breaks down I think it's natural to want to improve yourself and when that happens you gain confidence which is a good thing. With confidence comes self respect which is probably something you didn't have before you started improving yourself. I would never go back to the security of a marriage because by leaving it I gained so much respect for myself and the independence did I didn't have during that long-term marriage . it was worth going through all of pain. Keep improving yourself, go after what you want in life! Carpe diem!