I'm at the very beginning of the divorce process and it is so humiliating to even be here. I doubt my decision, not because I'm afraid of the process, but for the "after". Will I make it on my own? Can I offer my son the life he desperately needs with him having special needs? Will I break down and have everything tumble down? This is not the first time he dumps everything on me and goes on to the bachelor life, but this is the first time I'm sure he should not come back. I was a fool to ignore the obvious signs from the very beginning. I should not have allowed him to have such a huge grasp on my life. I was a fool.

I apologize to myself for not trusting my gut. For ignoring that natural instinct that told me not to get married to begin with. I should have trusted the only person who will always be by my side, me.

I'm going through the same right now at the beginning of separation. It's so hard keeping strong. But we have to for the kids sake. Keep busy I'm told I do in the daytime but at night I feel it. I hope you start to feel that life will get better. I speak to others that have pulled through and they are fine now and happy.

Thank you for taking the time to offer me some advice. Yes, I do my best to keep busy during the day, but at night it gets so overwhelming. I just toss and turn and don't really sleep. I'm just taking it one day at a time because I really don't have any other choice.
One day this will all feel insignificant and we'll just wonder why we waited this long to take action. I look forward to the calm and peacefulness that is bound to happen later. I just want to sit quietly by myself and feel inner joy and not these tumultuous emotions.