During my divorce I received a permanent alimony order and my ex husband keeps contacting me asking me to stop it probably because he's remarried now. He says, 'things are getting difficult, we have to talk about stopping these payments.' I'm sorry, but the fact he got remarried is not my problem is it? I'm scared because he seems to think I'm going to be ok with him not paying, which I am absolutely NOT okay with. Do I respond to his FB messages or just leave it alone. I need that support and I am scared to wait for him to file a modification.

Don’t be scared and instead get a restraining order against him. But first document his harassment or you will have nothing when he does file for a modification.

For clarification though. To my understanding he can only file a modification if a judge declared it, however if you and he settled alimony out of court then look into the state laws on this but he might not be able to file a modification after settling out of court on this because most states only allow for child support or visitation to be modified, nothing else. Again you need to look into your states laws. He will use scare tactics to get you to buckle, but don’t just prepare yourself with proof ( do not share your proof with him or threaten him with your plans because he will use it against you!) just politely respond with please stop harassing me over this as then do not talk to him. In face get him off your Facebook he will use anything against you. He is not your friend & you do not have to feel pressured on his necessary responsibilities.

Thank you so much! That's great advice. He was sending me messages via FB and then all of a sudden stopped so I think he is trying to get me flustered and nervous. I won't give him any info and I will block him. You're right he's not my 'friend' and I do not have to be pressured by his responsibilities. Thank you for replying, I had been checking for days for a reply because it just sometimes feels like I'm floating out here and need some support. There are so many sites out there that shame women for divorce. I wish there was more support (free) like this forum.