Karin: You can't go back to the past, but "there's still time to change the road you're on" (in other words, you learned from it and don't repeat what you have done). Everyone has done things they regret, especially at a young age, just focus on improving yourself and taking care of yourself. Hope this helps.
I thought the same thing following my divorce. It may take time to forgive yourself but know that it takes two people to make a marriage work and he bears responsibility as well. Even if you did something like you had an affair. It very well could be you had the affair because you weren't getting attention, emotional connection or even just respect and understanding from your husband. It may take some time to learn to love yourself and put yourself first, but start with small steps. It's a process.:) it will happen for you!
Hi Karin, I am so sorry for you and I know exactly how you feel because I had did the same thing. It has been 6 months since it all happened and my husband devorced me. The guilt is so overwhelming and also the loss is crippling. Nights like today I stay up, cant sleep. All I think about is the hurt and pain I caused him and the fact that our home is now broken. Our poor kids, oh man the kids! All this guilt hurts so bad!
Living alone just the kids and I is a major hard adjustment.
But I have to take responsibility for my actions. One thing I do know is that i have to be strong for my kids sake. They see and feel my sadness and i dont want it to be the way they see me.
Lately I've started doing alot more than i used to.
Looking for a job is one as I was a house wife.
I take the kids out alot now. Before we would always be home, now we go to the park and have a little picknic. I take them swimming or some nights when the loneliness hits, I tell myself to stop feeling sorry for myself and think of them,so we turn our sitting room into our own little movie house. My 9yr old has duty of making the popcorn while my 5yr daughter and I arrange the pillows and blankets to sit on.
Do you have kids, Karin?
If you do, be strong for them.
And yes, try to forgive yourself. We live In a world that belives us as a wife is supposed to be gentle, perfect and should never ever cheat, never. And on the flip side we all have heard the stories of ho₩ 'dad cheated on mum, but she is so strong, she took him back' or how uncle so and so or mr so and so treated his wife so bad and just fools around but his wife is sooo strong, she just holds on for change'
So yes when a man cheats, we forgive because in a way all our lives we have been told or heard that MEN WILL ALWAYS CHEAT! and when it happens, we are (most of us) like, 'its finally happened. Never thought it would happen to me but it did' and we forgive.
My ex cheated on me constantly. I'm very reserved. Always at home, maybe too boring who knows. So my friends were few and he would always sleep with those 'friends'.
Oh gosh sorry I'm now venting!!!
Anyway bottom line ,Karin, be strong, be brave to get out there and find what makes you happy and yes, forgive yourself hun. We not perfect and I'm not saying g it's ok too. But just learn from this and be a better version of your old self. Wiser. Communicate more, be more brave and if something rubs you the wrong way, stand up for yourself and let it be heard. Maybe that's all that was needed? I wish you all the best hun, and know you are worthy.