I don't want a divorce right now bc of my kids, but I can't stand the sight of his face. He's told me I'm too fat to f*** and called me disgusting. In 4 years our last child will be gone. I don't know if i can wait that long. I despise him. There's a lot more but what's the point? I loathe him and everything about him.

I can relate to much of your situation. I hate mine but don’t want a divorce, but I can’t stop the divorce no matter how bad I want my marriage because clearly he doesn’t.

I understand because I’m in the same boat I have decided to divorce the abuse is absolutely too much and I love myself more. It will hurt for a little but Having peace of mind will definitely be worth it. Always being bullied and belittled constantly has taken me to the limit. There are men with much bigger hearts out there.