About 7 months ago after a 22 yr marriage my husband dropped the bomb on me. Saying he’s been miserable for years and he doesn’t see a future together anymore. He has always been the breadwinner and me the stay at home mom ( 17 and 15) He has always worked very long hours but when he was home we had a great time. We moved several times across the country and away from family in order to “climb a the corporate ladder faster”. I always agreed and went along with the long term plan of hopefully early retirement. Don’t get me wrong. Hasn’t been perfect marriage, we had our differences, but they never seemed like deal breakers. Just things we both needed to work on or find a way to agree to disagree. He’s very much of a workaholic, has OCD tendencies and loves to be social and constantly going out or having people over to our home. I’m not as social, but figured for 22 years that we had found a good middle place. He has a ton of social interaction at work everyday without me, yet we would have extremely busy weekends together. Now he’s saying we have totally different interests and should try to find other partners that are better suited to our different personalities. He’s blamed me for all our problems. Me being boring and not social, communication problems, parenting problems (even though he really hasn’t been home enough to actually be a consistent parent) not listening to him and his needs even though he’s told me a million times ( in a way that I didn’t hear until now). I’ve pretty much always been a very trusting person. I thought I knew in my heart that he would always love me and never stray. I’ve Given him all the freedom he wants as long as he let me know his plans (not with infedelity) He didn’t really have any responsibilities around the house because he worked all the time. He no longer works for the same company but still works a lot. But now he travels. A LOT. Has become super secretive and lies about things. Has become very worried about appearance , bought new clothes that are very trendy, has started shaving his body hair, is on his phone all the time, has a whole new set of friends and doesn’t really keep up with many of the old ones or our couple friends. After reading quiet a bit online it see,s the classic case of a mid life crisis with an affair although he swears he hasn’t cheated. Since he told me he was done, 7 months ago, he hasn’t moved out, but is gone a lot traveling and when he’s home always finds excuses to not be at home. But when he is here he acts like nothing has changed. Here is my problem. I don’t want a divorce. In want to be married to him. I still love him even though he’s put me through hell lately. I can’t move on, or even get used to the idea of being separated because he is nice to me. Says I miss you Calls or texts me more than he ever has in 22 years of our relationship. Asks how I am all the time, what I’m doing, how the kids are . And when I do go out with friends (mostly married couples who are both our friends) he gets really interested in where I am, with who, doing what, etc. but when he’s on his business trips I hear very little about what he’s doing or with who or where. It’s all extremely confusing to me and I don’t know if my sanity can take it. Any advice is appreciated.