I am a 29 year woman and mother. I grew up in a house where my father constantly cheated on my mother and was in and out of the house. I grew up seeing the man that was supposed to help teach me right and wrong and how to have moral and integrity constantly let me down. I swore to myself growing up that I would never be with a man like this and that one day when I had a daughter I would let her see through different glasses than I grew up seeing through if that makes sense. When I was 15 and innocent and didn't know a thing about life or love I met a guy my age that swept me off my feet and bam there was the sparks and eventually the love. I knew that this guy had a horrible childhood and had been through things that would break most adults let alone a child who did not deserve it. I knew that he was partially broken yet I loved him with the innocence of young love. Yes we fought but it always blew out quickly. When we were 16 we broke up for a few months over a stupid fight and we went or separate ways for a few months. But alas we found each other again and the sparks started flying again. We were together for 14 years through thick and thin and fights and tears. Everyone told us they wish they had a relationship like ours. Reality was that our relationship was not perfect but it was these imperfections that I felt made us great. It was these imperfections that I loved. We married four years ago and had a daughter almost 3 years ago. After we had our daughter things became very rocky and we found alot. I know I was not a perfect wife. I am not a perfect person therefore there was no way I could possibly be a perfect wife. Even though he was not a perfect person I loved those flaws because they made him him. He had many emotional problems and childhood trauma and I was by his side holding his hand through every breakdown and everytime he shutdown. I loved this man and the life he gave me with every part of my soul. I think that was what the problem was. I loved so greatly when I knew all along deep down that he was incapable of the love that I deserved. I am not saying that this is wrong but stating a fact of the situation. I cared for him and wanted to heal him and shield him of his past and was willing to give up myself for our relationship. Then one day he looks at me and tells me simply that he does not love me anymore and I watched the man that I loved and admired walk out the door leaving me broken and confused. Of course he is still there for our daughter but he just left me and threw me aside like it was nothing....like I was a piece of trash that he needed to dispose of. Fastforward to almost 8 months later. We both have our own apartments and divorce still has not started. I put the pieces together that he left me for another woman. It took me 8 long months of denial and avoidance to realize that the man that I loved so deeply had betrayed me and I feel that he also betrayed our daughter. He has even introduced our daughter to this woman without even discussing it with me. He has involved my daughter in something that I feel she has no right to be involved in. He still swears up and down that this woman is just a friend but lets be real...she is not. My gut tells me that she's not and I always trust my gut. The man that was once so full of morals and integrity now has none. This is a deep cut that I feel has left me empty. I feel like I am an empty shell of a person. I know I am stronger than this. I know I deserve better but how do I let go of a man that I have loved for so long? How do I push myself to grieve when everytime the grieving starts I run the other way?

Girl I am very sorry to hear what your going through. My ex husband and I met at bible college so I understand the past morality confusion.

Grief. Darling you are grieving it’s just a stage your not comfortable with yet. I was married to my ex husband for over twenty years. And like you my identity was his wife and the mother of his kids. They say time heals and I believe it does. But it’s in your time.

Work on four things.
Anger
Sadness
Fear
Sorrow.
I feel everything in your message like I could of wrote it myself. So be kind to yourself. Feel the emotions. Face the mess. Pray cry get mad. This is a death of all you knew yourself to be. And then you must stand and show your daughter that throw the storm there is always a rainbow to follow.

I feel you I am living a similar situation I have heavily turned to God and trust him with everything but I still feel so lost and alone. I feel like my world has crashed and I don’t know how to come back. Some things I do when I feel this way is journal. I take the dog for a walk if he has my girls. I don’t have many friends cause I devoted everything to my family so that also doesn’t help matters. I’ll pray for you prayer is very powerful. Hang in there.

Wow black hole that’s just how I feel, 19 years and I’m 55 next week . I believe in God And Jesus and I talk to them daily sometime all day like u would talk to a friend. I kicked him out 5 months ago first month I was soo mad second month mad a a little scared. 3 rd month we started speaking again and he loves me and wants to come home , I said I need complete honesty so he decides to let me no he had been smoking crank all summer in my drive in his van when I thought he was smoking cigarettes. I new he was taking pain pills and that’s why I kicked him out he was just so different. Now I’m so mad at myself cause I had no idea he was doing that . When he left he went to his daughters to live and his ex wife lives there also. Well I think God stepped in cause he had no work all winter. So he had no money . I told him no drugs no lies and if he loved me he would not be under the same roof as his ex wife that he claims to hate. Well it’s spring he is working , still living with daughter and ex wife . In my mind if he really loved me why would he still be there knowing it hurts me and I offered to let him stay at my house while I had dinner with my son cause he was complaining how much he hated her and the grandkids were driving him crazy. His response well if yur not going to be home until 8pm I’ll just stay here . What am I not getting here . I no this doesn’t ad up in my mind he is wrong . So why am I letting this man do this to me . I don’t want him anymore but why can’t I say that to him.

Ladies, I am so sorry to intrude because I am a guy. I am currently going through some crazy, heartbreaking stuff. I have been married to my wife for about 12 years and have been together for 15. What you state here is almost a mirage of what my wife and I are except the roles are reversed. She deals with shutdowns and I have tried to break those barriers with little to no success. She finally told me she doesn't love anymore and that she wants a divorce.

I am so confused as I honestly thought we had a mature, great marriage. I am very vocal and express myself thoroughly in my opinion.

Right now, I have more questions than answers.

We have 3 beautiful children whom hurt in her absence as she left a few weeks back.

I love my kids but I also honestly love her more than anything in this world. I'm not perfect, but what I do have I give. I have worked hard to get us where we are at and it has demanded much sacrifice, lack of sleep and more. She has always been by my side, never gave me any symptoms. We literally went from I love you to I want a divorce.

She swears to me she doesn't have anyone else. It kills me. Everything would make all the sense of the world if there was someone else.

I was convinced to just give her what she wanted (divorce), but my son (8 years old), walks into my room one night, and just asked me: "Dad, do you love mom?" I responded: "Yes son, of course, but what can you do?"

He said: "Then you try. That's what I would do"

Again, I am so sorry to evade this but I am so hurt and confused.

And Rachel, I hurt for you because I know the exact pain you are enduring. Know that my prayers, although they come from a broken place right now, will be for you to heal.

Ladies, always give yourself the worth you deserve. There are good guys out there, sadly, we somehow get all the ones that don't care for us. Life sucks.

I believe better days will come. Again sorry for evading. I am just in a world of hurt. Never thought I would have to raise my children under these circumstances.