He joined a cult, I said I couldn’t do it and he makes everything seem like it’s my choice. I can’t and will not have the kids around that. I do not want to be married anymore but now that we are going forward with the divorce, I am super lost and I feel completely alone. I know this feeling will not last forever but for now it feels worse than death.

You are better off without him. It takes time to get over something like this. You are doing the right thing.