I have been divorced for almost 10 years now and my Ex has married the women he cheated on me with while I was still pregnant with our second son. Our divorce wasn’t even final when it turned out she was expecting!
Over the years we kept things very simple as I figured the less I have to deal with him the better. The kids enjoy visiting him and their siblings. My relationship with his wife is ok as I always wanted to be a good role model for my children and have never told them that she was the women that was present in my marriage to their dad.
She takes good care of my kids when they visit and I finally found inner peace to do something for myself and my new marriage when my kids are away.
My ex has informed me a few weeks ago that he has cheated on his wife a few years ago and that it resulted in a child! I always new he was still up to no good but doing the same mistakes twice is not a mistake anymore it’s a choice and a bad character flaw! Who knows how many more will show up as he is very careless as we all know by now.
He said they are currently working on their marriage and going to counseling but honestly my gut is telling me it’s all going down hill.
Everything seems so odd. The child who is only a few months older than their child has spent the night at their house while the child was also introduced via chat to my children! In my opinion it’s very untasteful and now the child is nolonger being mentioned! I of course was left with explaining everything to my kids.
My dilemma is I can’t see things being fine and dandy by the time my kids are scheduled to visit. His wife sounds stressed out but told me the kids will be loved when they come to visit. I honestly don’t feel comfortable in sending them as I believe they should work on their marriage first as it has priority but knowing my ex he is a very selfish person who would never agree to no visit this summer.
What should I do? Has anyone ever gone through something like this? I’m not wanting to change visit for ever but I think they should be focusing on the bigger picture and I don’t want my kids to be in the middle of this when I am miles away and don’t know on what mental state everyone is in! It’s not fair to expose my kids to this.
Any advice would be very much appreciated as I don’t know what to do or how to handle this!
My heart aches for you. My marriage is ending because I found out my ex had an affair that resulted in pregnancy. Lucky for me the baby was not his but after almost a year of trying to move on I found the task to daunting as I think it was not a one time mistake but a character flaw. I say your a great woman and mom for allowing your kids to be around that situation. However if the situation is no longer s healthy one bevaue of what he has done I say you go with your gut. Do what’s best for your kids and what you feel is best. Sending you love and light
Do you have a custody agreement? If you don’t, it’s likely you do not have to deliver your kids back to him. However, you have to also think about your kids and whether they want to see their father. Even though it’s the hardest thing in the world for you,they probably want to see their father. My ex dated a teenager and I hated delivering my son to that house but I knew my son wanted to see his father and he wasn’t in danger when he was there. I know it’s corny but please read the four amendments book, it really made such a difference in my life.