My bf is in his late 40s and I am in my early 20s, unfortunately he is married but separated and claims he and his wife will divorce once their children mature a bit. He disclosed to me that his wife IS actually a divorce lawyer and needs to get his finances in order before going through with it even though he is in love with me and takes me with him on work trips.

It’s been 9 months now and we have been through so much together including a pregnancy scare among many emotional honest talks and passionate sex. When we first met I was unaware of his familial situation but now I am starting to question if he even is separated, or if being married to an actual divorce lawyer is that horrifying.

In Minnesota is it an enormous financial sacrifice or something to get a divorce? Just trying to determine if the fear of divorce repercussions is what is preventing him from ending the marriage faster or if it is all just a play to use me for sex...though it does not at all feel like the latter. Someone without blinders please provide perspective

Hey girl I was in a similar situation. Trust me it was the latter. He never left her. And cut me off completely. Don’t wast your life on him. You’re too young to deal with all his baggage.

Thanks girl that helps a lot. I am going to take your advice and leave him bc this uncertainty hurts too much

You have your whole life ahead of you and really don't need to waste your time on someone who claims to be separated. To be honest, it sounds like he is just trying to waste your time while having a lot of fun for himself. If he is invested in this relationship, he would take you away on a romantic weekend trip. Not just work trips where expenses are paid for by his employer. He enjoys your company and bringing you on work trips gives him freedom, companionship and time to spend with you. And if him and his wife are truly separated, then why can't he take you on weekend trips or vacation together? It really sounds like you are better without him and you'll be able to find someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.

Heres a bit of advice for you, and this is coming from a wife of a husband who recently did the same to me and another woman except he got her pregnant. My husband in the aftermath of the affair and getting his mistress pregnant claims to me and has shown me proof of text messages he has sent his mistress that he NEVER intended to leave me and his family. He has no intentions of being with this woman romantically regardless of if I decide to stay or divorce him. She is being very childish, begging him to leave his marriage, his family for her and has gone as far as threatened not to allow him near this child if he is not in a relationship with her. Of course, he puts the blame on himself and on her, as do I since she was aware of my existence since I had spoken to her about us still being married and working on fixing our marriage problems long before she got pregnant. Statistically speaking 90% of men who cheat on their wife never actually leave them for the mistress. Do yourself a favor and let that man go before you end up in a worse situation like I'm in.

The whole story seems false. I would not trust that he will "eventually" leave. I would avoid this toxic situation and date people more available to you. All the time you are dating him you are wasting time that you could be finding somebody awesome for you.

Hate to be mean, but it seems like there is a physical rather than emotional connection and he's stringing you along. One suspects that they are unhappy but there is no active divorce proceedings, and one may never come. One thing missing from the post- what is actually so good about this fellow.

I’m in the process of getting a divorce my husband cheated on me with a 21 year old he’s 31 I’m 36 the day he left me the next day I was diagnosed with cancer he stayed with his gf because he said he got her pregnant and they lost the baby so now he has an emotional attachment to her she knew he was married and I never understood how a woman could hurt another woman like that because I’m sure she wouldn’t want to be hurt like that if you know someone is married why get involved if he’s cheating on his wife you know events he will cheat on you to your still young get out of that relationship and find someone who is single and who will be all about you