I've been in a relationship for over 12 years with my husband and weve been married for 3 years. It all started last summer when I discovered he had cheated with someone from a dating site. He begged me to forgive, and at first I refused. He begged for me to give him an opportunity to show me he wanted this marriage and his family, he decided to move out of state to live with his dad, work on himself, work on his issues, drinking, etc. The plan was that he would find work, save money, get a place, and have us move there with him once he got the place and fixed his issues that have almost led to a divorce. He was really depressed when he moved out there because he didn't really want to go and in refused to follow suit until he accomplished all the goals we had set for him before he could get his family back. This broke him and he tried to commit suicide. This was in October, but I later found out that he had already met another woman in September he began dating even though WE were supposed to be working on our marriage. I went to visit him in December, we were in a better place emotionally during our stay or so I thought and I believed our plans were still on track. Fast forward to April and he tells me he has been seeing this woman the entire time since September. I made him chose between her and his family, he chose us and came back to California. Hes been here a month and the mistress who was aware of my existence all along mind you, is pregnant, claims shes about 6-8 weeks pregnant and that it's his. She is already trying to use this pregnancy against him, threatening he will have no part in that baby's life if he doesn't chose her and move back to Oregon. He is convicted because he wants to do right by the unborn child but doesn't want to lose his family (me and his son). I am even more conflicted, because I feel at this point in our marriage I'm only willing to stay because of the vows I made to God when I married him. I don't believe in divorce but I dont know if I'm capable of being with my husband knowing I'm always have to share him with this woman because of that child assuming that's his baby which she is already refusing a DNA test. I dont know if I can sincerely forgive for giving a woman he barely knows the chance to bare him a child when he has been denying me this for the last 10 years, our son is 11. It breaks my heart that he gave her something he has refused to give me again more children. And I can already tell if I do stay we will never be a happy blended family because this woman is immature, inconsiderate and selfish, taking every opportunity to tell me I'm trying to trap my husband with this marriage when in reality i have told him, if he wants to be with his all he needs to do is file for divorce and he can be on his way but he refuses. Please send me your prayers and your advice i would whole heartedly appreciate it.
Brokenhearted: Sorry this happened. Your husband seems really mixed up and in need of counseling. Take care of YOURSELF and you and your son enjoy yourselves. There is nothing left in this marriage for you. It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. It makes me wonder if the woman is refusing to do the DNA test, did she sleep with another man around the same time she got pregnant and it might be his? If he wants to do right by this child, he first needs to find out if it's his or not.
I too am battling with my decision of divorce.... my only reason is because of the vows I made. God knows this marriage is in shambles. But I don’t believe God would want us to be unhappy for the rest of our lives. My situation is different from yours but it’s still leading both of us to want a divorce. I will keep you in prayer love! Stay positive.., sending virtual hugs, kisses & well wishes.