Such a long story. When married I was the cool aid Mom. I didn’t smoke or drink for about 14 years I stayed home with my children full time mom - We did nothing but kids. My ex was too cheap to go out to dinner or do anything. My entertainment was PBS that was it at night after I put the kids to bed. When my father died and left me money - I spent it on a private school for my daughter who had problems in school and eye therapy. My ex and I decided to do investment properties and I used 30000. Down cause he couldn’t get a loan for the 3rd house so I gave him the 30000. So he could get a loan.
I decided to leave him cause he threw a fit in the bank cause I had to give my brother half of the inheritance and I didn’t want the money in our joint account. The lady at the bank thought he was crazy so I left him after 10 years.
He always was preoccupied with money even though he made decent money.
Well when I asked for divorce, he had me sit down with his lawyer friend who he doesn’t have to pay, and they wanted to work it out. Then they drew up a separate maintenance agreement. I didn’t sign it. Then he would come around the house want me to sign it w/o a lawyer. I refused. He’d come in the house get loud in front of the kids and tell me to sign it or he was going to make my life hell if I didn’t.
I was stressed with moving from one state to another and his stress I signed the **** thing - well I got pretty screwed no alimony - some child support and the house I paid for. He got all three houses. After I realized what I did and taking his harassment,I started drinking again after 10 years of not. Well I’m 50 and hadn’t worked for 10 years so finding work was not easy even with a degree. I worked odd shifts and just grabbed anything - so I couldn’t keep a good schedule. I had developed an alcohol prob. Which I been trying to work on put myself in rehab 5 times do counseling etc - seems like I can never get awhead with bills and crappy jobs (hell I was working nights as a janitor in a factory and I have a degree.) And in an auto plant till I almost killed my self on that job. He called CpS on me cause my shift started at 5 am and my kids had to get ready for school and they can walk (school is close at my house) Cps came out and said he wasted their time. I didn’t stick to the schedule of overnights cause of crazy hours cause I was told by my ex that we will do what the kids want. Well - now he wants to take the kids from me. Every time he would find a way to make everything not easy for me. I did drink more from just all the **** I feel like giving up. I now have a job I don’t hate or that exhausts me. And I think I can get like 3 - 10’s so that I can have a decent schedule and give it to the courts. Should I get a lawyer? My last one did nothing for me after I signed the separate maintenance agreement there wasn’t much she can do for me to help me. I want to get better but finding it hard. Right now I’m without a car cause it was recently struck by lightning and totaled (I know crazy) I had insurance and will get something else soon. I don’t know what to do I know drinking is not a good idea... what should I do? I love my kids and I read to them every night b4 bed - didn’t even want people to babysit them if I felt they weren’t good enough and never wanted them in day care (why I gave up a career.) I have no help or family I been without parents since i was 25 tragically...I know long story... I need help. Please any advice. I don’t have money for a lawyer. I’m barely making it now.

I wanted to add that my kids are 14 and 11 soon to be 15 and 12 and they are not babies anymore. I read to them every night when they were little. But we have an open relationship and we can talk about anything - they r good kids and I love them. My Ex is making me out to be a Monster and I am not. I don’t leave them at home to go out and party - if I do leave them it’s for an hour to go to an Aa meeting I used to take them with me actually and they would sit in the lobby and do homework or play games at the church. Of course this isn’t acceptable according to my ex and his girlfriend who prob wrote the motion cause I’m pretty sure he didn’t write it - he barely passed HS so. Any help is appreciated.

Pamela: Your ex may want full custody partly because he doesn't want to pay child support (if he is). If he isn't, he should be. Most, if not all, States have strict child support laws. I hope that, no matter what, you maintain your sobriety and best wishes. Find out, perhaps on line, at what age kids can decide for themselves who they want to live with.