The past 2 years of my life has been a nightmare. My ex and I have 2 children. Both girls. Oldest just turned 4, our baby will be 2 around xmas.
When I discovered I was pregnant with our baby we had been having issues for a while. A huge shift occurred after he had to go to work following me taking care of everything for almost 8 years. Following the birth of our firstborn I experienced PPD. And he could not have been less supportive. Long story short I ended up in the hospital, and he refused to visit, talk, or bring my daughter to visit. For me, this was the end. But nevertheless.....I stayed.
During my second pregnancy I was depressed as well. This was not allieved in any manner when I found my husband under a blanket w our 17 year old babysitter.
Looking back. It is very clear that he and the sitter were having an affair and working together to develop a diabolical plan to make me out as crazy and take my children.
After returning from a trip with my daughter at 7 months pregnant and discovered he had moved out with no communication or anything. I found myself lost. The things they did. Calling the cops on me, reporting me as a neglectful mother. It was awful. He came to 0 dr appt for our younger daughter. But had no problem telling my dr that I was abusing drugs and alcohol. I started volunteering my blood and urine weekly. After 3 months of he refusing to assist us financially or go to therapy I filed for separation. He responded w a divorce.
Everything was ugly.
I'm not saying I was perfect, it I tried to remain as mature as possible.
Things turned into a nightmare. Within a week I saw a fb post of him and the babysitter announcing their relationship, and after a weekend with them, I picked up my oldest daughter and discovered that she had cut her hair as a consequence.
I lost it.....I 5hought that a few drinks would help. Boy was I wrong. The police came to my house and I was arrested. Later i learned that the babysitter called and called them.
My 2 month old and 2 year old were now w dad. I did everything possible and after 6 days was able to spend time w them daily.
My older daughter was a trainwreck. She reported domestic abuse child abuse, and on and on. No one would listen to us. On Oct 6 i picked the girls up and she told me that the police had arrested her dad for hitting. This was last Oct. He now has a month before trial for felony assault, rape, strangulation, and child abuse. And the disturbed aspect is after 8 months of minimal effort he has parenting time with the girls.
This past Friday my older daughter repeatedly asked me to keep her home, that she did not want to go.
I'm so confused. I have full custody, I have full decision making. He refuses to follow the ordered plan with financial support, refuses to follow a restraining order against him and the babysitter. And I have to force my babies to go. I have to dismiss my daughters wishes. Bc I could end up in court for violating the custody order.

Aniela: See a Family Lawyer or go back to whoever you were going to for legal advice. He should only be seeing the kids at a Visitation Center and you may also have a case to terminate his parental rights "in the best interests of the children" because he's not supporting them financially, is going to trial and hasn't taken one of them to the Doctor, ever. I would get the older daughter into counseling if you have insurance to cover it. Best wishes.