I am new here and I'm so glad there is a place like this. My story: I live in my husband's country and have been married for 10 years, with 1 child. My husband has been verbally and emotionally abusive from the 2nd year of our marriage. He showed no signs of this behaviour when I knew him before. I moved to his country a few months after our child was born. I didn't know the language, I had no friends and no support. For the first 2-3 years, I stayed at home to raise our child.
Our financial situation was difficult so the abuse started. He would call me names, "useless fat ******** "throw yourself in front of a car and die" and many, many more. I was holding our baby when he would call me all this. He would come home from work, slam cupboards, closet doors, make a mess and leave and I would have to deal with everything, including pretend all is ok for a 1 year old child not to be traumatised.
This lasted for 3 years. Fast forward to today, the situation has improved slightly, our child is older too. He does zero around the house. (We BOTH work but I do everything around the house. He doesn't lift a finger, literally.) He tries to pick fights with me every single day, multiple times a day. I learnt how to avoid it now so I simply leave the room or don't reply. Our child is old enough to understand everything (10 years old) and it's (I don't want to reveal the gender) starting to take my side if there is an argument, which is awful. I won't do this to my child and it has just started so I am starting to prepare for the divorce.
We have spoken about this before, about getting divorced I mean. My husband is extremely stubborn and hard-headed. He doesn't want to admit that our marriage failed and that we are both responsible. I am afraid my life will become a living hell until I find my own place. (I won't be staying in the marital house, his parents bought it even though I hated it from the beginning but never said a word).
So, that is my story and that is just a fraction of what's actually happened. I hope I can find even a little bit of emotional support and help here. Take care!
Marianne: I would put all of your spare time and effort into finding a place and get out of there ASAP. I wouldn't be surprised if you cannot get financial support, but shop at thrift shops if you need to and get whatever help you need. If the situation gets bad, come up with a plan for you or your son to call the police safely away from home.