I went through a long and ugly divorce. Now it is finally over. Everyday my thoughts wander to our failed marriage, his new fiancé that he may have cheated with, and why I feel sad rather than glad it is over. I don't have friends to talk to about this, since he told them I left for reasons that make him look like a victim. I do have new friends but I don't want them to know about the divorce because I want a new life without my ex in it. Just wondering how to stop thinking about him and the life I had to give up.

Dear Liz
Every day we have 75 thousand odd thoughts. This is part of the reason you feel this way. Your brain is left to think in any direction it wants too. You already realized that your thinking is not what you like. This is the first and best step to start your journey to change your life. It is with the thought that we change our lives. I would suggest that every time you feel that you are randomly thinking about him, your marriage or anything related to it- say to yourselve....---stop!!!!! think 3 positive things about today. Maybe how good things went at work today or maybe how good you felt when you woke up this morning. If not a good thing to start doing is look at the sun. Always see the bright side of things. Just look at what it is doing every day. Turn your face to the sun and let the shadow fall behind you. This is one easy way of getting full control of ones thoughts.
Warm regards
Karen

I think I am in the same boat you are. I am mostly hurt...hurt that it was so easy to move on from me. How and when will that pain ever stop. My ex is currently in a new relationship and have to see them out and happy together. I hate it. I'd like to move, but we have to share the kids, so that is not an option. It's been over a year since my divorce and honestly it hurts more now than the day i signed the papers.

I know that you are looking for advice, but i hope it helps to know that there are people out there struggling with the same issues.