Hi everyone. My parents split up after being together 22 years, about 2 years ago now. I'm 21, I have a 19 year old brother and a 14 year old sister.

It wasn't a huge surprise, their marriage had always been fairly unhealthy, but the circumstances under which it ended were extremely ugly. I don't want to get in to exact details, but the cops were involved twice and my siblings witnessed a lot of really bad stuff. My mom moved out and started staying with some guy she knew from golfing I believe. My dad went nuts and started drinking excessively.

They don't communicate. They now have a no contact order that I know my dad doesn't follow - but only to send my mom hateful messages. Theres been legal issues, and on many occasions my siblings and I have been used as messengers between the two.

I moved out at 17, but have spent the odd few months or so at my dad's place (since he has room, thats the only reason) for jobs in between school semesters. My brother lives with my mom, and has a lot of animosity for my dad. My poor sister is 14 and switches between them weekly. But has been put in tons of tough spots when it comes to holidays and stuff. On top of that, I'm worried about her mental health for other reasons, but my parents haven't done anything to help her through this transition - if anything they've made it as difficult as possible.

I'm currently in another country for an internship, and my mom called me asking to pass something on to my dad. I'm so sick of their inability to talk to each other and act like proper co-parents to my siblings. And I feel very helpless as I'm literally 4000 kilometers away.

Does anyone have any recommendations for resources and ways to get professional help? I wish they'd go to some sort of counselling, but I don't even know how to bring it up. And I doubt they'd agree. But its having a really negative affect on my sister especially and I don't want this to go on anymore. I'm at a loss of what to do or how I can help.,

Makes complete sense to me what you wrote. That said, one suspects each parent would suggest that you convey the message to the other because the issues are his/her fault.