My husband of two years emailed me on Father's Day and asked me for a divorce in the email and also told me that I would here from either him or his divorce lawyer and I should just sign the divorce papers so we can go our separate ways. I'm in shock because the only reason that he's even in America is because he married me. I'm an American born citizen. I was the one that spent a year patiently waiting for all the paperwork to be looked over by USCIS. I sponsored him and he came to America in February of 2018. He seemed nice like he was after our wedding but slowly he started changing. He wanted my parents to buy him a car, give him a credit card, and give him and his family the rights to the property in India that my parents have. He was so disrespectful to them and he would yell at them on the phone and he would call my parents by their names instead of calling them by the respectful terms for mother-in-law and father-in-law. I was a perfect wife and always respected my in-law's and my husband. On my last visit to India which was also my first visit to India after our wedding in 2016, he ended up kicking me and he denied that he kicked me but he ended up taking me to my cousins house and showing them how he kicked me. I always tried to make my marriage work and went to two different marriage therapists. He never tried to work our marriage out. He was influenced by his friends because it seems that one of his friends divorced his wife just now and he keeps saying that I was easily influenced by others.

Sounds like he was just using you. I am going through something like that with my wife of 2 and a half years. She started out as loving and supportive, but as it went on, she started threatening to leave. Last year, she threatened to leave if we didn’t move to another town, and we didn’t buy this specific house. We had a house, already, one town over, and we really couldn’t afford this house, but I did it anyway, because I wanted to make her happy.

And here I am, less than a year later, and she wants a divorce. It feels out of the blue, but looking back, it was something she was clearly planning on. And she wants the house. I wanted her to come to counseling with me and try to make it work, and she said, initially, that she would only go to counseling if I would agree to sign over my rights to the house after 6 months. She said that AFTER she went to court and filed for divorce and got an emergency order for me to leave the house, based on a bunch of garbage that wasn’t even true.

She didn’t even give me any time to look for other housing. And I didn’t do anything at all that would warrant that kind of treatment. I don’t even care that much about the house. It is my home, and I put a lot of money into it, and she doesn’t have a credible claim to it, so I know I can keep it if I want to. The thing is. I am so hurt about the way she did this, and the fact that it’s just so clearly been a plan all along, to get this stupid HOUSE, that there’s really no answer to it that won’t hurt like hell in the long run, anyway.

I don’t understand how people can just use other people and then throw them away like that. It’s like, how did I ever believe that she really loved me?

I know exactly what you mean. I finally got the papers last Thursday when I checked the mail last Thursday afternoon. Boy was I shocked by what I read. He said that we mutually decided to separate on January 30; he seems to have decided already on January 30, 2019 that we were separating but he never told me that and he acted like we were going to be happy together and visit each other and I was shocked that he would put my car into the paperwork because he had no rights to the car at all. He just drove it maybe a couple times without me. I’m so hurt by everything because I still have all the engagement and wedding photo albums at my house. I still have the engagement ring and wedding band. I took them off the day I got the email because it just hurt me wearing the rings and the necklace and toe rings that he gave me the day we were married which happened to be my birthday. My birthday and wedding day is Christmas Eve. For 28 years it was my birthday and then on my 29th birthday it was my wedding day. I really don’t know how I’m going to survive my birthday this year. Another thing that happened is on June 29, my mom’s best friend who is my second mom passed away suddenly and we’re grieving her loss but a lot of my friends in the community don’t know that I’m also grieving the loss of my marriage.

I feel you guys. Its so tough when it comes out of the blue; when you ignore all the signs that were there, when you live in denial and when they walk away you feel like trash.