I want a divorce, but he continues to emotionally suck me back in. I feel like a stupid foolish woman. I want to get my life and identity back. I have married a monster. My prince charming turned into a toad from the very weekend I wed him. I have dealt with physical abuse, emotionail abuse, gaslighting, his drug and porn addiction which I only discovered after I became this con artists wife, and have woken up to a daily nightmare in hell. I can not trust this man. I need to leave, but my stupid heart tells my brain that he will change. I don't see it happening. I just need to find my strength and finally file. He is controlling with finances, and I have no money since I have moved to his country. I am an educated woman who has been in his country for almost 2 years now and have wasted my time. I cant work or do anything, not even get a driver's license because no paperwork. Im trapped. I was a fool to believe his lies. I never want to marry again. I have to come to terms with the fact that all men are liars like my Dad. All men cheat given the opportunity. And yes I believe pornography sex chatting is cheating. The penis and the mind is cheating it is emotional and his porn addiction has destroyed me. I feel unloved, undesired, and unwanted. I ask God if he will forgive me. God hates divorce. But I need my peace of mind back.

You know what you need to do. Definitely file. Get a good attorney. That is key to getting half of the marital assets. Your lawyer will make sure an accurate accounting is done of all your assets and get you what you deserve. It will get better, you have to believe this and be strong. I've been divorced 4 years now and have never regretted it. Now engaged to a wonderful caring man who treats me like a princess. It can and will happen. Have faith.