I really need some advice from someone who won't judge me and who has been through this or knows someone who has.

I got divorced almost 5 years ago. I have two girls with him (8 and 12). I am remarried to a wonderful man and he has a girlfriend that I really like.

I left him because he was mentally/emotionally/physically abusive at times. When I was with him he had never touched the kids though.

He is the definition of a narcissist to a T. You look the word up in the dictionary and he would be there.

He is so concerned with money (makes over 100,000 a year, status and looking good. He is president of my daughters softball league and trys to look like SUPER dad but in reality he isn't.

Within the last year and half my 8 year old at times refuses to go back to her dads. She crys when she has to go back. I have asked her what is going on and she would tell me a few things.

However; just last night she was crying b/c she didn't want to go back. She has started regressing. Asking to have warm milk before bed, carrying a blanket around and even just recently asked for pull ups b/c she is afraid she is going to wet the bed. :/

I sat down and talked to her b/c I really needed to get to the bottom of what is going on. She told me her dad calls her names (b*tch, f*ck, a dick, as*hole, dumb, retarded) and he takes her arm holds it out and slaps it over and over. My oldest daughter has admitted some things to me but denys he hurts my youngest but she is defensive and trys to keep the peace.

I broke down last night and I'm in panic mode. I know I have to do something but don't know where to start.

I didn't file for full custody when I first got divorced b/c I grew up without a dad and I didn't want my kids to have that and he can be a really good dad.

I don't know what I should do but I know I need to protect her.

I have tried talking to his girlfriend and she makes excuses for him but admits the way he handles things isn't right.

Can someone PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO!? I know it is very hard to take a child from a parent. Also I'm so scared b/c he is a narcissist and will make this battle a living hell.

So sorry to hear this. I am considering a divorce and this is my fear- that leaving my kids alone with my husband will be awful. Does your husband really want to see the kids as much as he does? Might be welcome a change like saying the kids are busy or have friends they want to see and would be mind seeing them for a few fun hours on the weekend instead? Or can you schedule play dates and things he has to take them to during his custody time? Other than him going to therapy, which you can’t control, some way to word it to try to reduce the time they spend together - first without going the expensive legal route- could that work?

Good luck!

Forget about your feelings and do the right thing for your children IMMEDIATELY. Report the physical and verbal abuse to the authorities. Hopefully, it's not too late and he hasn't caused permanent damage to your child. I definitely wouldn't make either one of them go back. Record your conversations with your children, your ex, and his girlfriend. You might need it for evidence later. Just in case either of them recant. Protect your children at all costs. 🙏 for you and your children.