Looking for any similar stories and advice. I am still married and my husband has a temper, insomnia and I think a problem with alcohol. He is never physically abusovr but he yells, spends most days sleeping to make up for sleepless nights and doesn’t spend much time with us. I have tried to support him and I have put up with his temper because when our kids we little I didn’t think he could even handle every other weekend with them alone without me (cause he just wants to lie down, gets angry with too many ‘needs’ like being hungry, sibling fights, messes- normal kid stuff). My question is: my kids are 9 and 6 now, is it better to divorce and then they will see him more than they do now, which I think won’t work well for them or him, or wait until they are older so they are more independent when they have to spend custody one with him(even if it’s not joint, they will spend more time with him if we divorce than they do now). Has anyone had an ex with a temper who was able to handle the kids post divorce when they hadn’t done much of that before? Do these types of dads rise to the occasion or is it a mess of misery for the kids?
The easy thing to do would be divorce and I get some free time for me, but my kids come first. And yes, living with him isn’t ideal but the question is, which is the lesser evil?
His outbursts aren’t frequent, often they are at me and after kids are asleep and we go outside or out of earshot. Of course, kids sense his energy but my choice isn’t a bad marriage vs a golden, peaceful divorce so I’d like to keep it real. I have no idea how acrimonious he would be in a divorce.
As it has been, we barely interact with him and see him a few minutes in the morning when he drives to school, a hello in the evening when he gets home, and on the weekend 2-4 hours Of something as a family one of the days and I hang with the kids the rest. Is it better to divorce and he gets them either half time or less- and even every other weekend is a lot more and I don’t know if he can handle it. I’m also a working mother, I don’t have family nearby to help, and I have to travel for work on occasion, so I might have logistical childcare nightmares, too. Any advice is appreciated!