I’ve had this boyfriend for about 3 years now.. he’s married and he has a daughter. His daughter means the world to him, which is why he has been saving up money for the college tuition and for her to live comfortably in the future. She is only 9 years old. After dating all this time, I’ve asked about his daughter and his wife and if he has ever considered getting a divorce. He told me, he’s been planning on leaving his wife but only until their daughter turns 18. Until then his plan is to stay married and live together as a family with his wife. But as time passed by, I’ve asked about the divorce again, he says he doesn’t want to get a divorce because of this money he’s saving up. He’s afraid that his wife will take this money and misuse it. But I know him, and there is no way in hell he would ever let her take the money he has saved up for his daughter. Is this possible? If he gets divorced, can she take this money and use it for herself?!
The money is has saved up is legally both of theirs. It would either be split down the center or negotiated in mediation. A lot of this depends on the state law. What state do you live in?
Any marital assets, including money, belong to both spouses as long as they remain married. Just my personal opinion, but it seems this man wants to remain with his wife/family and keep you on the side. Unfortunately many of us here are dealing with issues caused by this sort of relationship. I understand "it takes two to tango", but is that really how you want to live your life? I would be more concerned about that rather than financial issues.
I understand your statement, Bella. It's not a judgment. Personally, I think you're being selfish and inconsiderate to the members of this forum. They/We are dealing with really painful relationship issues, especially infidelity. Maybe you're on the wrong forum. No need to be defensive. Ijs