I'm 31 and divorced. My ex husband and I separated in December, filed papers and legalized our process in March. He had a new serious girlfriend by April and at this point, she has pretty much moved into his place.

I know no one in my life who is divorced. Well, not true. I know my ex husband and my best friend. My best friend is getting back together with her ex husband and they never really broke up. My ex husband had happily moved on.

I guess I'm searching for validation that this process sucks and seeing what other peoples experiences are? I've been in therapy since our separation and am surviving on my own for the most part. I still see friends and go to work. I just have really down moments. I come home and cry or will hear a song and get in a funk for a few days.

I look at the divorced people around me and they all seem to just have skipped this part. Am I doing something wrong?

I'm so sorry for what you are going through and I can definitely relate even though my husband of 34-years and I are not divorced but it does seem to be heading that way. He moved out almost a year ago and I'm pretty sure he is involved with someone else who really wants to see me out of the picture.
I've known couples who manage to find their way back together and in my heart I wish that would be the case for us. I've also known people who got divorced and seem fine, asked myself the same question you are. I really don't think there is any wrong or right way to get through this since everyone processes it differently and some people are just really strong.
I know it's hard but a few things that have helped me are to stay involved with family and friends as much as possible, find those who will support you during your down times and to ask for help when you need it. I was also in therapy for awhile but not willing to do all the things she was asking of me at that time. In hindsight, I wish I would have been more willing to do "the work" and maybe I would be feeling a lot better by now.
Hoping better days are ahead for you!

Hi there. I'm 32 and going through a divorce. We were only married for a year and a half before my wife told me she didn't love me anymore. I live by myself with our dogs and she lives on her mom's couch. guess that's better than living with me, I also have down moments myself hoping that she will come back. I know how it feels to be lonely. i'm still trying to find ways to cope with my situation. Sorry you have to go through this. My wife also decided to date someone 2 months after we separated. I was crushed. It didn't last long for her but knowing that she was moving on hurt the most. any way if you'd like to talk I'm here for you.

i was married for 6 years and discovered an email my x was planning to serve me with divorce paperwork and evict me from our home only a month ago. for me this came out of nowhere and i was complete shocked and blindsided (i had foolishly started making his dinner earlier in the day even before seeing this email..) .. i had to leave my home and all my things immediately after discovering the email fearing what he would do when i discovered his plot.. i had no family or friends anywhere close and had to stay at a hotel until i could get a flight back to my parents 10hr away.. i left with nothing but the cloths on my back and i am trying every day to put on a brave face but deep down i feel the guilt and shame but mostly just confused as to why this had to all happen so harshly.. on top of everything he also had paperwork for a no contact order so i truly have no idea why he had to do this when i did everything i could for him and had just moved to the middle of nowhere for him too.. even though all our stories are different and unique i know we all must feel the same hurt and pain and i truly wish there was something that i could say to make each of you feel better but all i can think is taking each day second by second and just doing everything you can to keep yourself stable.. as i sit here right now i have lost everything i have ever worked for, i ended up having quite my job bc i had no place to stay there, i was almost done with a degree but had to put all that off and not to mention all the emotional stress added and then legal stuff.. you just have to get through moment to moment and know its going to take time to heal but you are all so worth being loved by the right people.. so dont be so hard on yourself and just understand you are doing your best to get through each moment just know you are braver then you even realize for waking up everyday and make the most of your situation.. i am thinking of each of you and sending just a small amount of hope your way right.. i so appreciate you sharing your stories please hang in there..

My situation is similar. Married 20 years and 2 years ago ex cleaned out savings acct. Then emotionally abuses me for 18 months. 4 years ago he moved me to a house that I hate cause he didn't want to work so I practically gave away my beautiful home I had before marrying him. He called the cops on me 3 times for nothing and tried to get a restraining order on me. Also threatened to put me out but I'm on the deed and mortgage. He finally divorced me and we used the same attorney and they tried to trick me into signing the deed to the house over to him! No way did I fall for that. Were're still in this house. I stay in the basement with the pets for now bc I'm on SSI. The abuse has stopped but I hate his guts and I'm stilled enraged at this situation. The more I read these posts the more I hate men.

Lillian: My ex, who made a ton more than me, tried to have me evicted from our home (both of our names were on the Deed). I immediately got a Lawyer - wish you had, but we all have to make our own decisions and I'm glad you have your parents' support. I didn't go back home because mom was married to an alcoholic and she is, too, (he was her second husband) and my dad's second wife only really wanted to be with him. I got the house and he got his retirement. I hope you can get a Lawyer (perhaps your parents will help you pay for one, many do) so you can get back on your feet. You don't have to contact him anyway and that's what Lawyers are for. Hope you can work/finish school where you are someday. See about getting temporary restorative alimony from him through a Lawyer if you can so you can get back on your feet (I hope you can/do get some alimony for a while). Sometimes Lawyers offer a first visit/consultation for free. Best wishes.

Carly: It takes time for adjust to a divorce (2 years on average). Focus on taking care of yourself and spend time with supportive friends and/or family. I keep the t.v. or radio on all the time. That helps.