Hello, I'm a stay at home mom for many years. My husband has moved me around a lot for his job and now I am living somewhere that I know no one- on the other side of the country. I don't think our marriage has any hope. I think of divorce often and know its what I have to do. The only thing is that he controls the finances and I have nothing under my name. We have been together for 20 years and legally married for about 12. I don't know where to start. I also owe a lot of money to student loans. Any guidance would be appreciated.
I'm in the exact same boat. I stay at home with our 2 kids and when my husband comes home his substance abuse takes precedence. He slaps me around but not enough where it will land him in jail long enough. I've tried. He gets bailed out and restraining orders are a joke against a crazy person. He has a porn addiction and lives in chat rooms. I'm not perfect. I'm often depressed and negative but I feel it's a result of my environment. I have no money credit or job. Student loans are at $60,000 so I don't know where to go. Do I get to take my 2 kids to a homeless shelter?? Really?? The house is in his mom's name so he's safe. I wish him to get help and he often tried but his anger jealousy and abuse are killing me and the kids. I shouldn't have to run to get out of this situation. It doesn't help your situation but I am in the 7th circle of he'll faking smiles everyday with nowhere to go. Please I hope my life doesn't turn out to be a lifetime movie.
Mallory and Grace: I think it would be a good first step just to speak with someone at a Domestic Violence Hotline. Controlling the finances is also abusive (called financial abuse).
I'm with you. I'm in an emotionally abusive relationship, married 11 years. I quit my job to stay home with our kids, which was a mutual decision. The car, mortgage, and utilities are in his name and my Student Loan debt is a nightmare. We went through 2 years of counseling to try to save the marriage, but it couldn't work because he has to appear perfect to everyone so won't take responsibility for his actions.
I'm hiring an attorney. I told him that it's over, and he said he'd get an attorney with his Christmas bonus. I told him my parents were borrowing $ to get me my own attorney, and I thought his head would explode.
The need to control EVERYTHING is insane!
I have no advice except look into legal aid if you can't get help retaining a lawyer.