We are 23 years different in ages. I married to him without love. We have three kids, now 13,12,9. He is not a bad person, loves his kids. cares about me, doesn't cheat or physically abuse me. He is just a depressed, passive person, careless about his living space and life style, appearance, ..totally different from me which is a big turn off for me. I never loved him to start with and at this point the relationship become unbearable. Been married for 14 years We never kissed, rarely have sex and when we do I prefer to die than having sex with him. We don’t talk much anymore, just existing together in the same house and pretend like everything is normal for the kids. Our kids never seen us showing affection or love or talk to each other like a right couple should. I fight within myself every single day to stay or to leave, but I know it would never be his idea for us to divorced. I’m still young and want to have a second chance in my life to meet somebody to be in love with and be happy for the second half of my life. But I feel struggled, don’t know where to start, how to break away without hurting our kids, and how to get him to agree that our marriage is not working and we should free each other?
Any advice, sympathy and insight, shared experience is greatly appreciated!
Hi, MC. If you didn't love him in the beginning, then why did you marry him? I'm not passing judgment. Really, I'm not. Just trying to understand you better. I feel your pain and sense that you're really torn. That's understandable, especially considering the ages of your children. 🙏 that you find peace.
I truly emphasize with you. It seems you are living my life. I loved my husband in the beginning, but that has faded to indifference. This might seem stupid but I agreed to marriage counseling hoping for confirmation that this marriage is over. I did put forth the idea that we should get divorce but he is resistant to the point of begging. So I said yes to counseling.
Your kids know the marriage is not working. They can sense the tension. My son told me he can. My friend said to make my decision using my head not my heart, because the heart tries to please everyone. I’m still conflicted. My thoughts are with you in this struggle. Let’s take one day at a time.