Hi, well here is my story. I met my husband 3 years ago. I saw red flags in the beginning, like the jealousy, control and the delusional thinking. I should have cut and run then but I didn't. My husband has a "crazy ex baby mama". Little did I know while he was put west working she was still living in his house. He did eventually tell me the truth. They have 3 kids together so I sent jim back to MO to see the kids and to take care of the house which needed repairs. So here I was 1000 miles away, working and like an idiot sending him money each pay day. Keep in mind we weren't married yet. In March 2018 I got sick of his abusive words and demands I ghosted him, totally stopped all contact. A month later we started talking again. I went to see him in July, not understanding why He was acting strange and why I couldn't stay with him. I stayed with his sister. She said that I really needed to talk to him about something. He told me that his ex was pregnant and that it may be his. I was devastated, he couldn't even keep it in his pants for a month, he didn't even fight for us, for me. But like an idiot I forgave him. We ended up getting married on November 5. He made me so many promises, he would kick her out, he would move out, he would get a job, etc etc. Nothing ever happened. Every time I went to visit I had to get a hotel. He was demanding more than half my paycheck every 2 weeks. I was growing more and more exhausted from working overtime so I would have enough money to pay my bills also. He didn't care he just demanded more and more and treated me more and more like dirt. I calculated that I have sent him almost 30,000.00 in the past 2 1/2 years. The only thing I ever asked was that she not live under the same roof. I gave and gave and gave and got nothing in return. The last time I saw him was in August, he caught with me the minute I got off the plane. That was my breaking point. I got home and the demands, the accusations, the delusions and the arguing and abuse just got worse. I had enough!!! I felt that with a narcissistic, abusive, delusional, bipolar sociopath the best thing to do was to go no contact. So that's what I did, I did not answer him, I changed my phone number, blocked him on everything, threw out a letter he wrote me, 100% no contact. We have no ties, no property, no bills, no kids together. I made a mistake in marrying him. I have the divorce papers, they just need to be filed. Im angry, sad, lonely, disappointed, so many emotions. I ended up in the hospital with Pneumonia, sepsis and exhaustion. I guess I am writing this to get support, I don't need to hear that I should have known better because I know that. I just want to know that I will be ok. That I will feel better one day. I didn't want to be a failure in marriage again. I truly loved him, I wanted it to work and I truly thought he loved me. But the truth is he didn't love me, he loved my money. Thank you for letting me share my story.
Sorry to hear what you have endured. It definitely does not sound like a healthy marriage at this point.
I recommend picking up a copy of 20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story, by Dorian Wright, on Amazon. Not only did they have a similar path as yours, but they found happiness as well. Have faith, and check out Shine FM or The Message on Sirius XM as well.
Thank you very much. I will order the book. Today is a rough day. I'm really sad, no so much missing him. Just angry at myself. I don't understand how I could be so stupid, desperate and blind.
We have to learn our lessons thru experience! Just take this lesson and build & grow from it. One day you’ll sit back and tell this story with laughter in your heart knowing you became a much wiser, stronger & happier person because of this. You got this!
Lisa: Just focus on taking care of yourself and be glad you didn't have any kids with him. Spend time with supportive people (preferably females at this point). Don't get into any new relationships with men for as long as it takes to heal (one average it takes 2 years to recover emotionally from divorce, but it differs from person to person). So sorry you went through this, but we all have made mistakes and the main thing is to learn from them and to not repeat them.