I've been divorced since July 2018 and we have 3 DD together. I am the primary custodial parent. Since he left the house (with my best friend at the time) he very rarely sees the kiddos. It is like pulling teeth to get him to have the kids like he is supposed to. It has been hard enough to get him to pay child support as well. He is only concerned about a roof or food for himself and his Gf and her dd. He constantly makes excuses for not doing his visits with the kids. The most common excuse is not having enough money for food for the kids. So, of course I don't send the kids because in our decree and guidelines, if there is not adequate food, I don't have to send them. However, all of his social media is public and he is seen out on dates and blowing money. In my state, the judge can't force the noncustodial parent to abide by the visitation schedule. I've had to put the kids into therapy as they are small and unable to deal with their emotions in healthy ways die to the rejection they feel from their father. I have one daughter that has abandoment anxiety due to this. He doesn't seem to understand how this affects our young children. I'm at the point now to where I want to modify child support and custody because he doesn't keep them the way he should. It has put a financial strain on me because of hiring sitters for me to work during their school breaks that they should be with him during. How should I approach him about the lies?