My (probably future ex) husband and I have been separated for a couple of months now. I've been trying to "play it cool" and not be too needy, and this had been working out pretty good for a while. I have my own stuff going on and so does he, so it's easy for us to just talk or get together whenever we feel like it, no pressure.
This morning we were talking on the phone, having a nice friendly chat about what was going on in our lives. At a certain point he started going on about all his fun plans he had this weekend with a bunch of different friends, and I just kinda snapped and ruined everything. I didn't yell at him or anything, but I went on this long-winded thing about how I missed him and missed spending time together, and I felt like he was totally cutting me out of his life. I complained about how much it hurt that he knew I was going through rough times work-wise and he still leaves me all by himself to go through it all. He knows I have no real close friends where I live and yet he doesn't care one bit how lonely I am.
So long story short, he fired back with how awkward it feels to hang out with me, how he feels spending any time together is an obligation, how it's hard to try to listen to me when I talk (whatever that means), and how he doesn't see me as a dependable person. This of course makes me feel like crap, which ruined my plans for the day. I had hoped to go to a yoga class and then catch up on some work, but now the day's half over and all I've done is get dressed and drink a meal-replacement shake. All I can feel is regret for going off like that, probably turning him off speaking to me and also wasting my own time.
This is my first post here so I don't know what I expect to hear back, but if nothing else it feels good to get this off my chest. I guess it would be nice to get some advice or just hear from anyone who's been in the same boat.
Sharing how you feel is not stupid. His response was hurtful and makes you wonder if you will have a future with him or not.
I too understand what it’s like to have your day planned only to have all your motivation drained. Sometimes you just have to make yourself follow through with your plans. I promise you it does get easier.