Been married 32 years to a controlling narcicist. No children. Filed for divorce still both living in the same house. Day after day living with his belittleing and bullyong comments. Attorney not inteersted in any thing he has done, even though there is fraud. Attorney sold me on her abilities but now every thing is not worth reviewing. Husband blew money our whole marriage, not bothering to save for retirement. I did save and now I get to split that with him. Where is the fairness in this world? Judges still favor men. At a loss here, just want it over and husband delays it. Have wasted my life with him. How did you get past the anger????
Very sorry for your situation. I think unfair is a synonym for divorce. I recommend a book on Amazon by Dorian Wright called "20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story", if you'd like another example of a very unfair divorce.
If both of your names are on the house, I would think you could leave that living environment and still be entitled to part of the house's value. Staying there will obviously affect your health, so you may want to consider that.
Getting past the anger is a tough one. In many situations, including my own, it never totally dissipates. You just have to start thinking of something else that you are thankful for, when those feelings arise.
Diane: My ex delayed our divorce, too, even though he filed! I sympathize with you. My Lawyer told me it would take about a year to have the final court date and it did and we still had to wait a few months for it to be completely finalized (State rule or whatever). Someone once told me if one of the spouses leaves the house before the divorce is final that it gives the other the upper hand in the divorce...….don't know if that is true, but both Lawyers told my ex to leave because he could afford to and because they were afraid we would argue. There was also a bit of domestic violence on his part years ago - unprovoked. A friend went through something similar to you financially so I sympathize. Best wishes. I hope you get the house if you want it or do well financially on it if it is ordered sold.
I get what you are going thru. Same here married to a verbally abusive narcissist for 20 years. I had a beautiful home when I married him but he wouldn't work so I loss it. Wanted a baby and he didn't do that either. He divorced me in May and now I live in the basement with 2 dogs and 3 cats and can't afford to move right now. We used the same attorney caused he had me so mentally beat down I just wanted it to be over. Wondering now if I should have fought him cos he took me to the cleaners. He lives upstairs but at least the abuse has stopped. I hate him so much I can't stand it. I wanted to leave him 15 years ago. Now I'm 64 years old and feel hopeless. Sorry I don't have any answers for you but it kinda helps to hear your not alone. Also don't let him trick you into signing the deed to your house over to him like mine tried (but I didn't fall for it).