I don't know how to navigate this situation! My husband says he is Polyamorous (non monogamous)(wants multiple partners at one time) and i absolutely do not. i have tried to be what he needed for 20 yrs giving him what he wanted making him feel like he was amazing and everyone always told me how lucky i was to have such a good man i started thinking i didn't deserve him. He has left twice before to decide what it is he wanted but this is the first time i have had the courage to say no you can't come back. We have always been best friends that is why this has surprised me so much because he told his family and everyone that he is leaving and why. Anyways tonight he told me he has know for 6 months that this was coming and i am just crushed that he didn't come to me so we could try to do things in a way that wouldn't hurt the kids anymore than necessary...
My issue is this he wants me to wait to file for divorce because he says we cant afford that right now and that he will split his check either 80/20 (me and the kids/him) or 70/30 he also said he would make sure that we find a smaller house for me and the kids and he will never let us struggle financially. I feel like it sounds fair but i don't know. what advice can you give me? :sob:

Hello, very sorry to hear you are going through this. My advice is as-follows:

1. Pick up a copy of "20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story" by Dorian Wright (available at Amazon.com) - you will be able to relate with, and learn from, alot of it.
2. Contact a lawyer immediately- do not allow your past relationship with this person to manipulate or impact your future. Do it as soon as you can, and minimize communication with your spouse until you've been able to review details with the lawyer, first.

-Light

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am too. My husband of ten years made a similar request back in January. A friend recommended the following books-
Why Won't You Apologize
The Dance of Anger
Nolo Guide to Divorce
Hang in there! You will get through this and find someone better.