I have been married for six months, and I am planning to leave my husband as soon as possible.
I have been in a relationship with him for eight years. We were married last fall.
He has always exhibited narcissistic behaviors such as gaslighting, lack of empathy, and deflection. He is in law enforcement and highly respected; everyone thinks he is a great guy publicly.
He is a master manipulator and hones his craft by reading books such as the Laws of Power, etc. on how always to have the upper hand with people. Everything is fine until I express my feelings or disagree with him, then he gets nasty.
We have only lived together for 6 weeks as we maintained separate residences for space reasons (we have 3 young adult children-2 have their own places now). I moved into the home he owned with reservations already as I have always lived independently.
We had a minor argument which escalated to him screaming that this was HIS house, and I should remember that. I responded that’s the first and last time you’ll say that to me. I will leave your home. He proceeded to curse me and call me explicit derogatory names and berate me and ...I mean really crass and disgusting things (Fat b*tch, s*ck his d*ck(???!). All completely inexplicable and out of nowhere he's spewing this rage and bile at me. Just explosive, unrelated to anything we were talking about and disgusting. He got close in my face, almost headbutting me while gritting his teeth in this scary way..almost growling if I had to describe it. Physical violence is not typical, but he did break my nose with such force he broke his hand- three years ago during an argument.
One of my young adult stepsons and his girlfriend were home as well as my young adult daughter who resides in the apt upstairs. I’ve never felt more humiliated and disgusted. We’ve only been living together for a few weeks, and I regret coming here.
I have started searching for an apartment and hope to be gone within a few weeks. There have been times where I have seriously tried to leave before during the earlier days of our relationship, and he would call and imply suicidal thoughts. He would say his elderly mother or one of my stepsons was ill or hurt. Or some other tactic, and eventually I would start speaking to him and get back in the relationship.
Any advice, thoughts, or tips on getting and staying out is so appreciated.
I am going through something similar. We've been together for 8 years, I've lived with him for 8 years, we got married in December of 2019 and things are spiraling out of control. fights, threats, he was a former deputy and thinks he's still a sheriff, but he's not. I'm praying for you!