Well ladies I had been married for 21 years. The 1st time we were seperated I didn't know what I was going to do with 2 kids. He was the bread winner and I was the individual with 2 degrees, but stayed home to take care of my children because he traveled with the alcohol business.

When my mother's father pasted he left her money. My mother paid for an attorney, but I was such an emotional wreck! Once I did meet with this attorney he felt empathy for me because he could see how afraid and scared I was. Once he was served a week later he moved back in like nothing ever happened. Until those again phone calls leaving the house. No more date nights. No more us time because he was always on the go.

We separated again and it was 3 years and I finally had enough. Now my children are 21 and 17. Dad does nothing wrong in their minds and I never talked bad about there father to them because that's just not fair. I lost my mother just this past year in November. I paid a whole $63 for my divorce. He always blamed me for all the reasons. It was always the other person's fault but his. All the affairs, all the lies, all the disrespect that he showed me. It took me 2 years to fill out my divorce papers. $13 to get the papers at the court house and $50 for him to be served. Yes, it ook me 2 years to complete my papers, but I did it.

The hard part I'm having recently are all the lies have caught up. He started a relationship with someone. He only lied for months about everything. He tells me that it is my fault because I served him divorce papers. Never did he try to talk to me about how much he loves me and there was no way he could start any kind of relationship right now. WRONG! He did. He still lies about everything and he keeps her a real secret. I was told by someone that she knows me. Hummm? I'm not surprised. I believe this woman was in the picture the whole time during our 2 seperations. The way he talks to me you would think I was the side chick. I'm so angry. I feel so betrayed. I was their when there was no one, no job, no income, good times, and bad.

Sometimes I feel like the biggest fool for 21 years. I feel that I have wasted so much time and energy in this relationship & I'm struggling financially. I do get child support for my 17 year old. However, my ex-husband just started back paying our mortgagee after 5 years and our house was going into foreclosure. So this month and last month he applied my child support to pay for the mortgage. I feel trapped. I feel like I have no life, and I try so hard to not get overwhelmed. I come home and these 2 young adults look at me for everything especially when it comes to money, food, or going somewhere. My daughter who is 21 always talks about amazing things about her father in front of me. I feel used. I feel like my children think this man is so great, but he has done some horrible things to me while we were married that my children don't know about.

My goal. My dream. I want to find me something small for just me. I can come home and my stuff is left where I put it. I don't have to worry about my ex-husband coming into our home going through my personal stuff. The man went thru my closet. I would have never known, but he slipped during a conversation. He always has to be in charge even after my final divorce in September 2019. I want to wake up smiling and being happy. I feel myself just drowning and super miserable. I swear I believed he never loved me. I just tried to be the rescuer for everyone, but myself. Will someone rescue me because I hate the way my heart feels right now like its breaking and the pain is just so deep. Am I wrong to do this and not wait until my son turns 18? I feel like if I don't I'm going to lose my mind. Or do I stay until the last mintue and then I'm really in trouble because of COVID-19 our hours were cut and the bills keep on coming.

Thank you for this site because I completely understood how many of these ladies felt and their not alone.

Kristine

Hi Kristine, would you agree giving your testimonial (anonymously and for free) at a live call I will make monthly?
It is tomorrow at 6pm (CST)
More info here shorturl.at/fjlGZ
Thank you :-)

I would love too. However, I am now just seeing this response. I am so sorry that I'm just viewing this. Always got a little too much going on, but I'm still standing!!!

Hi Kristin, could you please, contact me at sophie@sophieclement.com?
Thanks!

Your children will see through thelies. You cant tell them. They will experience it. They become the "flying monkeys".

I applaud you. It took me 41 years!!!!!

Peace at last!

Thank you for the kind words because I needed to hear this. I love my children with all my heart, but boy they can make everything my fault in a heart beat. I pray that they will soon open their eyes and understand that Mom always was in their corner and that their mother will always have their back.

I guarantee you that they will open their eyes.
My ex husband used to tell my kids the worst things about me. I had them coming to me, telling me choking statement and I knew exactly where it was coming from.

Today, they understood that their dad is full of sh...
They don't believe a word of what he is saying. He lost a lot of credibility and compassion by acting this way.
But he keeps doing it, even after years of divorce.

They know who I am and nobody can change that.

The thing with narcissist is that most of the time, their lies are not even credible. When they are angry (as often when they feel they lose control), they are ready to say anything that comes to their mind. Even if it doesn't make any sense.

So that's what happens with the kids too. Eventually, they realized there a mismatch with what they say and the reality.

Kristine, I feel your pain. Regarding the ex coming and going as he pleases, that must stop so you can have peace. Since the divorce is final, change the locks. My ex did that to me while we were separated and divorced. It made me crazy. Things were out of place. I sometimes thought an intruder had been there. I was constantly uneasy. I'd open the door to the garage and he'd be standing there... needed a tool or something. Whatever! This should bring you some peace until you can move into a place of your own. There's nothing like taking control of your space, having your own personal sanctuary. Moving out of the marital home, moving into my apartment, and buying all new everything, were the best things I've done for myself and my healing. I don't see "him" anywhere in my home and that's awesome.