I really need to talk to a woman who has been blindsided like me late in life by a divorce and never k new the husband could be so cruel in our 70's. My city which is fairly large has no support groups at all for divorce and I just need someone who has been as hurt and in pain as me.

Hi Katsy,
I’m in the same position. Prior to pandemic was not able to find a grey divorce support group in my city and now that I’m staying in place would like to have someone to share with online. FYI...I was married 46 years.

Great to hear from someone with similar disappointment in life. I was married to my second husband for 29 years. While we did not have a perfect marriage(as I hear of no one having a perfect one) but it wasn't a bad marriage either. I now realize so many things that I just trusted him on and was a totally blind to him being a con man. I loathe him now for being the cruelist person I have ever known. We were to Milwaukee for a Fri & Sat listening to a band my granddaughters boyfriend had won 3rd out of 12 at summerfest and I thought it was such a lovely day. Did the state fair-came home Sat night and Sunday went to a water ski show. Monday evening and Tues am did our usual walks=came back in the house on Tues am and he tells me he wants a divorce. I was in shock but he would not get couseling or talk to our pastor, His mind was long made up long before. So it has been a year of hell for me with all that I had to take care of and adjust to.
If you want to talk with me about yours and we support each other that would be good for me as I have no group around here. Thank you

I would be willing to talk on the phone for a bit if that would work out better. I could do the calling as I have unlimited-just let me know or text or gmail would work too. thx

Hi,
Men can be so cruel to the people they are supposed to love. They leave their spouses and kids when they are thick in the fog of an affair without a care. Would love to talk too. Stay blessed and strong both of you.

How do we get to talk on here? This is all new to me but I would love to correspond with you -I just need to have someone to talk to who has been hurt like me Just give me the know how. Thanks

Men are the worst!

Katsy, sounds like a horrible experience.

Yes, I am willing to talk with you. I won't share my phone number on the forum, but you can contact me at
sophie@sophieclement.com

Talk to you soon,
Hugs and love :kissing_heart:

I am not computer savvy. Do i put your info at google or where do I enter it.
This is for Sophie

Hi Katsy, this is my email address (sophie@sophieclement.com). Do you have an email address? You don't have to share it here, I just want to help you with the process.

yes I do. Which I would share but yes not on here.

Hello, this is my first time texting here. I’m 57 years old and have been married for almost 33 years and was in a loveless no intimacy marriage for the past 10 years. A few months before this pandemic we finally decided to get divorced. In October of 2019 his work sent him to Ca. For the cleanup of the fires and while being there all through thanksgiving he met a lady who also is in a bad marriage and the two of them formed a bond. The only reason I found out was on one of his so called midlife crisis motorcycle trips that he was in a rush to do he left in his haste to be with her a rough copy love poem and a warranty for jewelry in his glove compartment of his car which he left because he was using his motorcycle. I had to move his car one day and always snag a piece of gum and low and behold there was my evidence. I knew we were okay with moving on and getting our divorce but what I’m not okay with is him taking multiple flights from Washington state to California to see this woman and staying with her in hotels and buying her food and other gifts ALL THE WHILE USING OUR MUTUAL BANK ACCOUNT!!!!! Talk about being cocky and Ballsy. Ever since I’ve found out and confronted him and my goggles are off I’m realizing it’s probably not been his first rodeo cheating on me. I feel so betrayed and can’t believe he has so little respect for me that he could do that. Up until he just moved out I couldn’t sleep or eat picturing him sleeping with another woman and the completely vomit in your mouth love poem he wrote to her makes my stomach turn. They deserve one another I guess! Interesting that he chose a woman who speaks broken English from Thailand and she believes he has money since he drove around in a brand new Mercedes while on his job in CA. Plus spending so much of my money on her she is in for a wake up call when she realizes how much spousal support he has to pay me for the next 15 years and he actually lives paycheck to paycheck and drives around in a 2008 Ford Explorer. He told me that the things they have in common are the same music (death metal) ewwww and both hate people and are both in bad marriages🤪 well all I pray for every night is when she moves to live with him that she hurts him so badly and crushes his spirit and ego so hard!!! Karma is it’s name. One thing that this arrogant son to be ex did which hurt me so much was to tell my adult daughters that he hopes that he can introduce her to them soon cause he’s so in love with her😞how unbelievably selfish to do that right after I found out of his infidelity, knowing my kids would tell me that. There’s a special place in hell for him that’s all I’ve got to say. Thanks for letting me rant to you all. Stay strong fellow soon to be divorcees.

I totally understand your pain and feelings of finding him so horrible and cruel and having no respect for you. That is exactly how it is for me. I am older than you but the feelings of betrayal know no bounds in age. Hurt and disrespect is the same for all of us dealing with that kind of a man. Mine married within the year to the day (takes 6 mos after a divorce in our state) and she says on facebook "this day I married my best friend" barf barf
It is the same verse we had on our invitations 29 years ago=this day i marry my best friend the one I laugh with live for and love!
These women must be so desperate in their life to get involved so Quickly with these men knowing they are cheaters but like you say they deserve each 0ther. I am glad to hear from you as it makes me feel not so alone. We have no divorce support group around here and it has been devastating for me. I am trying to meet more people to do things with so I can have other things to think about besides being a divorcee but with this Covid that is really hard too. I am in Wi where are you? Talk any time you want on here to me. Take care

I was married for 25 years to a guy who probably has Asperger's. I stayed with the marriage for the sake of our five kids.
Things finally came to a head for me when I discovered that he was helping my oldest daughter with her plan to live in her van which she was going to park in a downtown parking lot in Chicago. (Crazy, no?)
I asked friends and family to speak with him but they all refused because they didn't want to get involved. I finally had to steal the car she planned to use (registered in my name) to prevent her from doing this dangerous thing, then I announced I wanted a divorce.
I told him and my kids that I just wanted a peaceful, mediated settlement and no custody or financial issues, we would just walk and keep our own personal assets, the children were old enough that they could decide where they wanted to live, blah blah blah.
Well, my ex turned from quietly abusive towards me to outright. He told my children that my actions meant I was having a nervous breakdown. At 2 am, with no warning, he removed me as an authorized user from all our credit cards. He managed to force me to move out of our beautiful house. He threatened to take out a restraining order. I ended up living in a cheap hotel for weeks while I tried to figure out what to do next.
My father and my siblings could not understand why I would choose to leave my marriage after so many years. My Dad and my youngest sister kept telling me I was crazy and that I needed therapy. Despite all the terrible things my ex did towards me, my own family didn't want to "take sides" for fear of alienating the grandchildren. They were very upset with me when I chose to fight back against the awful things that my ex continues to do.
So I've spent the last year and a half in this strange limbo, trying to figure out what to do next with my life at the age of 61. It's all been pretty terrible.

you have been through a lotand I will hope and pray that you can find someone to help you.Can you go to a Judicare place and talk to someone, It is terrible that your family isn/t supportive for you. I don't think you should have had to leave and how are you doing financially? Are your kids supportive at least.
If you need to talk just message some more. I know how alone we can feel in these situations.

I'm in the same boat. Mine never cheated, I wish he would. I care nothing for him at all. He won't divorce me because of his retirement and 401K. Now he thinks he's going to support his father, but doesn't give a dime to me. I'm unemployed due to the pandemic. He's always been controlling and emotionally abusive. I'm done, but how to get the ball rolling??? I could use advice, support or whatever. I would love to chat with anyone with their problems and mine.

I feel so badly for you but I know nothing in this situation. All i can think of to check out if there is some Judicare where they do help pro bono or if you call some layers they usually give a short amount of time for no fee. You could get a few ideas to get you going. Talk to anyone you can for sometimes networking comes up with some good solutions. I hope some other women can help you also. The best of luck.

At this point I feel like I'm in a Twilight Zone. Marriage #2. It will be just 3 years in Dec. I gave up permanent lifetime alimony, my job, and sold my home, to marry. Less than 3 yrs. and he wants out. I gave him everything financially. There is hardly anything left. Everything financially is controlled by him and in his name only. My phone is even in his name. last year he finally agreed to put me on the deed. We signed the papers at the lawyers office in July. I was just informed by the lawyer that he never followed through with filing so the deed was never processed. I literally am financially ruined. I paid for everything in the house. Everything! I have no idea where I will go or do! He wants me out! I am 69 and retired. He is 62 and working. I feel like I was kicked in my stomach!

There is still help for you financially. Get a strong attorney and explain this all to them. You are entitled to your marital funds.