My husband informed me 6 days ago he wanted a divorce. We have 2 boys and I was blind sided by it all. I knew he wasn’t happy, but there was nothing I could do about it. I believe he has undiagnosed depression but won’t do anything about it. We live in his hometown, and his family. I have good career here, but no family or close friends. It would be a lot for me to keep my career as is, with way less support from him, and now my relationship with his parents is getting rocky also. I told him I am going to move back to my hometown 3 hours away because I need people who love me and care about me in my life. He got mad and said it would hurt his relationship with his sons. That I should think about the boys more. He also said I was moving for my happiness and not was is best for the boys. But I do not think a divorce is best for our boys right now, and he has agreed to couples therapy. His attitude, and word choice have convinced me that he is set on divorce, but he has trouble saying that exactly. What should I do?? Move or not move if he chooses to divorce me? I need more support and I won’t find it where I am currently living.

Hi Megan,

Is there a chance he’s bluffing/over-reacting to get attention from you? How many hours are you working versus family time. I don’t know your family situation, so I’m just thinking things out here.

How do you feel about him? Is he worth fighting for in your view? If so, couples counselling is a good idea.

If you move, your children will have to change schools/friends? Can your parents/family come visit you to offer support or do you feel strongly about moving? How do your children feel?

Do you have anyone close-by who could offer you support? The only reason I’m thinking all this, is because you have a job you like, the kids have stability with school, the only thing that might change is him not living with you as a family? Is the availability of childcare or comfort from your parents the main factor here? Can you pay for childcare/or reduce your hours at your job? Does he feel like a childminder maybe? How much time are you giving to your job versus family life? It sounds as if you have little time to make friends/socialise, which is not good for you long-term? (All work and no play...)- You know the saying! Good luck with whatever you decide. What is it that you want to happen and how practical is that? 🙂