Hi, I’d be giving parenting guidance/counselling a try. It may be that you had completely different upbringings and might both be basing your parenting styles either on how you were raised as individuals, or in your case, maybe you’ve gone completely the other way if your own experiences of being disciplined as a child were authoritarian/unfair - (Just guessing here!!!)

If you can find a middle ground where you are working together as a shared approach, your children won’t get such mixed messages. It also means they won’t be able to play one parent against the other!

Safety is key, so where there are genuine concerns for their well-being, a serious, frank, but non-confrontational chat is needed. A counsellor-maybe a couples’ counsellor - should be able to mediate this kind of discussion.

Also to consider: Is (children apart), how you function and get along as a married couple? Do you have shared hobbies? Couples’ time/date nights? Do you speak respectfully towards each other? Do you share chores/make joint plans for the future/ save for the future/have couples’ friends you hang out with for dinner as a couple etc?

Are you together ‘by choice,’ or necessity, or habit/routine? Are you both secretly angry with each other? If so, what’s p’ing you off the most, and can it be fixed? Is it worth trying to ‘fix’ it or not? Only you have the answer to that in your heart... 🤗