You sound like a lovely person who has been controlled by a narcissist. Sadly, you are not alone in such situations.

He won’t like it one bit that you’ve taken control by initiating a divorce. Trying to blame your children for your decision to divorce him is yet another form of control and abuse. How childish, tantrum-like and selfish of him. Don’t worry-as long as you keep reassuring your Chikdren that they are not to blame, not at fault, and that you love them-that’s all you can do. HE is responsible for HIS actions as an adult. Not you. Not your children. Have you looked up the term ‘gas lighting?’ If not, take a look...It’s an eye-opener and was for me also - I was in a controlling and manipulative marriage with a domineering husband and felt I was pretty useless at most things (cooking, parenting, finances etc) - simply because he would put me down fir years and years. Since watching YouTube videos on narcissism and gaslighting, it was like a lightbulb came on for me! I suddenly understood why I’d felt so useless, so second rate in my marriage, despite trying to please him at detriment to myself and my own happiness.

Please don’t waste your emotional well-being on him I’m wondering how he’ll be! He’ll be just fine-narcissists always are. It’s time to focus on you and your own well-being now. How will YOU be? How will you empower yourself to live a happier, more fulfilled life?

It worries me that you’re planning on accepting less financially than you’re potentially entitled to: Again...this sounds like a victim who is just wanting peace and not to be slammed by a controlling ex-spouse. For some women, accepting less is a way to escape from abuse. Maybe for you, accepting less is worth the value of peace of mind you’ll get from getting out of the relationship? But please at least find out your rights fully. Narcissists have a way of cutting their exes out of their lives completely -it’s all part of the control and manipulation process. Or...they’ll try to ‘guilt’ their ex -like he’s doing in blaming your kids.

It’s tough re Covid for your tenants, but also try to separate out the business side of your life, from your personal life. By definition, you are currently ‘homeless,’ because you are residing with your kids ‘couch surfing’) and relying on their generosity for you to have a roof over your head. Think about yourself first therefore before tenants. I’m not being callous here-although it might sound like I am! I’m being realistic-What will happen to you when the divorce is finalised? Will you be able to buy a home or rent a home for yourself? What does the long term picture look like?

Good luck with gaining your emotional and financial freedom. Keep going with the deadline your lawyer has given him. Keep all correspondence going through the lawyer. Don’t communicate directly with your ex as he may use your good nature to try to persuade you/guilt you into accepting terms that are in his interest, rather than yours...

🤗

Hello again
Thank you for your wise words ....
Thank GOD our financial situation is well...after dividing the assets iI will survive financially when the divorce is finalized Even though I chose few Rental Properties that I will be managing myself (which I know how to handle )
I am trying my best not to think about him... but sometimes I cannot control my feelings....when I get emotional my Kids worry and get sad seeing myself go through this (they are afraid that I will go back to him and will make the same mistake by forgiving him just like I did in 2011 when I filed for separation) which I will not ....and I do not want to go back to him even as a friend (it is what it is ) I have to be strong
I am trying my best
Maybe this is what GOD wanted me to do to make this decision to divorce him
And punishing him for cheating on me and treating me the way he did or treating other people with no respect or mercy ....
Once the divorce is over I will get a place to call my own ...does not matter how big or small
I wished I could do this now but I will wait until the divorce is settled ...
One of my friends told me (he was never a happy camper) he does not know what he had until he looses
I am not perfect either but I will never be disrespectful or treat anyone bad ...
(Treat the person the way you want to be treated )
Nobody is perfect
Like you mentioned all I want to live a peaceful life
I did search on (gaslighting) There are some of this character on him (you are right)
Thank you again Kaz
You are the best 👍 🤗
Wishing you the best of everything 🙏✌️

Good Morning Kaz
Hope you are well!
When I heard him talking to his male friend he said (he got used to being alone but it is sad being alone and he is too old to find somebody )
Why I feel sorry for him ???
Even though I do not want him back in my life
I missed my 3 (three) little dogs more than I missed him
Stay safe 🙏
God Bless you