I just had my first night after being surprised yesterday to hear my partner of 30 years wants to move out. We are still in the same house but staying in separate parts of the house.
I got about 15 minutes of sleep. Got up and down working and watching TV including some YouTube videos about divorce.
I think it’ll take some time to get over the shock. I have pets with me, that does help.
I’m thinking about all the things I’ll be able to do on my own time, without worrying about his resentment of my time working or reading. I’m doing my best to remember that this is going to be painful but it won’t feel this way forever. In a year I’m sure I’ll have more perspective and a new routine and it won’t feel so strange. For now I have all the stages of grief ahead.

Thanks for all your replies 🙂

I feel for you Megan.

I’m sure part of my brain just needs to learn a new routine. Simple things, like coming home and not having anyone to share my day’s events with. Putting the trash cans out myself. Having to cook, wash up etc myself, without sharing this task. And...the dreaded potential of hearing from my adult kids that their father has stated dating (while I’m still grieving for him).

I’m going to keep busy. I’m going to preoccupy my mind to the hilt! It’s the finality that I’m struggling with. He’s gone. The silence. The emptiness of a silent house I’ll walk into after work each day. That’s what I’m dreading. That, and being treated as a loser when I go out alone to see a movie, have a meal, shop in the mall alone, surrounded by couples and happy families. I just don’t know where it all went wrong with my marriage. I put 1000% percent into trying to please him and be appealing to him. It feels like punishment for something I did wrong, when actually, I was nothing but decent and kind, loving and faithful.

Did you join clubs straight away or did you just take time to be ‘you’ and find yourself within some quiet time?

Belinda and Megan

I just wanted to say to both of you, that you are not alone
I just separated from my husband of 5 years and the first night alone was so lonely.

The kicker for me is that I was lonely when he was here. We did talk at night but the talks were superficial and task oriented. I couldn't get an intimacy with him no matter what I tried. I have been more lonely with covid than I ever was single, so why I am so lonely now just because he's not here? He wasn't here emotionally anyway.

I'm going to keep busy too and call a friend everyday.

This won't last forever and we will all survive it and come out better on the other side.