4 times in 8 years is a whole lot of cheating :(
Not just 1 ‘slip’ but a series of affairs.
Like the previous poster wrote, he sounds immature and as if he wasn’t ready to fully give up a batchelor lifestyle. But...give it up he must when he becomes a married man. Otherwise, what’s the point of getting married?
At 32, luckily you’re still relatively young, with more than half your life to go still. The trust has gone hasn’t it? He trashed something that was special between you, that he should have treasured. You deserve so much more respect than that as his wife!
Given you don’t currently have a job, you need to prioritise housing and money right now. That means seeing a lawyer so you can try to protect your interests. Try to claim Child and spousal alimony. Add up your total combined asset values (cash/property/vehicles, jewellery, business interests, royalties, inheritances etc), minus any shared debts. This will give you an idea of the asset ‘pool’ available. Bank statements and valuables tend to ‘disappear’ suddenly when a spouse gets wind of the notion that you’re going to divorce them, so start collecting everything. Photograph/scan documents. Don’t rely on him not clearing out your joint bank account...Remove your name from joint credit cards (if you can) etc. Keep copies of any texts, emails, letters etc that are evidence of his infidelities.
See if you can get a part-time job that works around your children’s schedules. Speak to trusted family/friends about what support you’re going to need with the children so you can work. Make sure he takes some responsibility also for taking care of them - get some kind of court order around parenting arrangements. See if you can get alimony docked from his paycheck, so you don’t have to fight him fir it each time. Keep as much furniture as you can negotiate. Even if you’re not going to need it all-you can sell it after the divorce to help generate some cash.
When you made your marriage vows, no doubt you meant them. When our hopes and dreams are shattered by the infidelity of our partner, it steals our trust, our faith in humanity, as well as all the hopes, dreams, plans and assumptions we had for how we imagined our future would be. It’s multidimensional grief. Not only the loss of him, but the loss of stability, familiarity, daily routine etc.
You are absolutely doing the right thing in putting your foot down and telling him that ‘enough is enough.’ He could carry on having affairs for decades more-Who knows?
Hold your head high. Don’t look backwards too much on what ‘should have been,’ or you’ll trip up over your own feet! Stride forward, fiercely proud! You deserve to be treated so much better. Do your research to empower yourself. Find out the cost of housing etc then make a plan. Enlist the help of not-for-profit women’s counselling services, Salvation Army etc. for guidance/food parcels etc.
Knowledge is power! Go ahead and get ****** off with the situation! Anger can be a great motivator towards getting up and getting out 🌸
Very sorry to hear the suffering that you are dealing with :(
If you read Dorian Wright's book ("20 Years Gone: A Divorce Story" that is available on Amazon and Google Books), you will have the opportunity to read about how their spouse did the same, and did similar damage to that family. The only difference is, their spouse waited longer to cause the damage. Sadly, people do things for all kinds of reasons, but that does not mean that you have to sit back and suffer through all of it.
Dorian's book *does* have a happy ending, as they found a new love and were able to move forward with their lives. You can too! We all only get one life- don't let yours stop there.